


Extremely Out of Season Valentine's Fic

by floralQuaFloral



Category: Splatoon
Genre: Angst, But exclusively through text messages, Callie and Marie are there, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluff but only sometimes, Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic, So I probably shouldn't tag them ??? ???, Valentine's Day, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-03-13 03:04:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18932113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floralQuaFloral/pseuds/floralQuaFloral
Summary: Pearl has a great idea for a gift to surprise Marina on Valentine's day. A few days away from the job due to an unexpected fever gives her all the time she could need to bring it to life while her girlfriend is away.





	1. The Day Before The Day Before The Day Before...

**Author's Note:**

> In hindsight. Late May could be a rather unusual time to upload a Valentine's day fic. No, this did not occur to me during writing. Literally not even once. Oops.
> 
> This chapter: Pearl makes her plan.

     Pearl knew she had to do something big for Valentine's day. She and Marina had gotten together almost a year ago, so this would be their first Valentine's as a couple, and Pearl fully intended to do something great for her beloved partner.

     As a child, she'd never really gotten to be all that close to her parents, but she felt she had picked up quite a few things from them despite the distance. Pearl knew that every Valentine's day her parents would do something grand and expensive together, that they'd be excited for weeks beforehand, and she knew that it was important. Most of the time Pearl's parents didn't seem especially close, but in the weeks surrounding Valentine's day there was an obvious change - they'd present each other with a gift or a vacation or some other manner of gift, and they'd be noticeably closer for at least a few weeks after. She knew, therefore, the significance of a good Valentine's Day celebration. She and Marina were close all throughout the year, so she knew she couldn't afford to mess that up with a poor gift.

     Marina, Pearl felt, deserved the best celebratory gift money could buy. But knowing the Octoling for so long had made her realize that Marina wouldn't _want_ something expensive, just something meaningful, and Pearl could understand that. Boats and vacation houses had been a repeated theme in Pearl's experience observing Valentine's Day from home, but Marina would want something less significant in terms of price tag and more significant in terms of heart. And, when she thought about it, she felt she would quite prefer to give Marina something that comes from the heart anyways.

     So while she didn't quite know _what_ to do, she knew she had to do _something_ big for Marina, even if it didn't fall under the same rules as she used to think Valentine's gifts had to. She'd toyed with a few ideas, but it seemed like gifts from the heart require a lot more time than ordering something huge the way her parents did for each other, so if she wanted to keep it a surprise (and she _did,_ the that part is _essential!)_ , she'd need to find plenty of time to herself. That would prove difficult, though, since she and Marina spent most of their time together - the only time Pearl could imagine getting more than a half hour apart in the next couple days would be after they've gone to bed, and Pearl wouldn't give up a good night's sleep to save her own life when she's tired enough. She could just ask for some time to herself, but she doesn't want to have to give up time with Marina for whatever she ends up making.

     An unexpected solution presented itself on the night of the 9th, five days before Valentine's Day. She and Marina had been watching a movie together, with Pearl curled up in Marina's arms and both of them relaxing under a blanket on the couch. There had been an unpleasant pressure building in Pearl's stomach and throat for the past couple hours, even before they started the movie, but she stubbornly ignored it to avoid having to think about anything but the blissful sensation of being snuggled into her girlfriend in their apartment.

     Eventually, though, the feeling in Pearl's gut overcame her willpower. In one fumbling motion, she extracted herself from her girlfriend's grip, dizzily mumbled "Hold on a sec," and stumbled to the bathroom to empty her stomach.

     Marina showed up a second later and sat with her, rubbing her girlfriend's back and asking how she felt, and giving a disapproving look when Pearl said she'd been feeling gross since a few hours ago. "You could have told me," she said, sounding more concerned than upset. "It's alright, though," she said when Pearl looked ready to apologise.

     "I think I'm good now," said Pearl, after a few minutes spent leaning against her girlfriend and breathing deeply. She opened her mouth to continue and a squeaky, drawn out yawn came out instead. "I think it's just a little flu, we can pick up with the movie now."

     "You're exhausted and sick, Pearlie. We should get you to bed, we can finish the movie another time."

     Pearl wanted to complain but her body betrayed her with another yawn instead. A glance at the nearest clock revealed the time - okay, past midnight, Marina is probably right. Marina helped Pearl stand up and the inkling started brushing her teeth while her partner retrieved the proper medicine from the cabinet.

     The rest of the process of getting ready to sleep passed seamlessly. Pearl took the medicine (offering an appreciative "You're the best, 'Rina" in return), Marina brushed her own teeth, they both changed out of their day clothes, and within a few minutes they were in bed together with the lights off and the room cloaked in darkness. It was Marina who broke the silence, pulling her face from the back of Pearl's head to speak. "You can wake me if you feel sick again, or if you need anything, okay?"

     Pearl shifted in place in affirmation. "Yeah, thanks. I love you, babe."

     Marina buried her face back into her girlfriend's tentacles. "Love you too, Pearlie."

...

     Pearl only realized the opportunity that had arrived when she woke up the following morning to Marina talking on the phone. "There's no one else available today? At all? I mean, I can, but..." The taller girl took that moment to look back towards the bed, noticing Pearl's golden eyes on her. "Oh! You're - hold on," she said to the phone before covering the microphone to address her girlfriend. "You're awake! Did you sleep well?"

     "Yeah," answered Pearl, stretching her arms above her head. "You...?"

     Marina shot her a small smile and responded quickly. "I did too. Babe, I called the studio to tell them you're sick and they say they don't have anyone available to replace us for the stage rotations today."

     Pearl groaned and flopped back onto the pillow dramatically. "So we have to go in anyways?"

     "Er, not quite... They say it's fine if just I announce for today. Do you think you'll be okay by yourself until I'm home?"

     In all honesty, Pearl would give it a fifty-fifty chance how she'd do by herself, and she wasn't not much of a gambling woman. She was already feeling pretty poorly. But when she considered it, there weren't really any options.

     That was when she realized this was what she needed. If Marina left for a few hours, Pearl would have time to start whatever it was she'd do for Valentine's Day while she was alone. She wouldn't even need to get out of bed to start forming her plan.

     It was with this in mind that she nodded and told Marina, "I'll be fine, you should head in so our manager doesn't get too mad."

     Marina was still hesitant, reminding Pearl to drink plenty of water and that if she needed anything she could call and Marina could come home for her if it was important. Pearl laughed and called her gay, and as Marina was heading out Pearl called out, "And, um, thanks! Love you!"

     There was a second of pause and a response of "I love you too, see you soon!" and Marina was gone.

     Pearl decided that the best use of her time was to make some plans. Not only was it the essential first step to executing a task as important as getting a Valentine's Day gift for Marina, but it was easily achievable without leaving bed, and in Pearl's present state that was an incredibly lucky break. The first step, then, was planning; the first step of this first step would be deciding on what she would make.

     She wanted to make a list of ideas, and then mark the pros and cons of each idea, and then maybe mark each one with a yay or a nay. She couldn't reach a notepad or pen from the bed, and she was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to make it four steps without getting dizzy. Her phone would do the trick then, she decided. The thought of managing that kind of formatting in a simple notepad app made her nose wrinkle, though, and she didn't have any apps she knew of with such a feature. After scrolling through her list just to check, she opened the app store and started to browse.

     Some time passed of Pearl just trying out apps. There was something missing in each of them - the first one didn't let her separate pros and cons for each item in the list, the second one had really obnoxious ads. The seventh one didn't let her change the text color to pink, the twelfth one had an ugly font and she couldn't figure out how to change it. As she waited for apps to download, tested them, and tapped through the uninstall menus, she found herself getting lost in thought. After a handful of hours dividing her attention between downloading planner apps and actually thinking about her options, she was able to come to her conclusion. The best gift she could make for Marina would be a song, she decided, written and performed personally by herself. It only took a few more installed and uninstalled applications for her to realize she no longer needed to find a digital planner.

     Not a bad start, she considered. She didn't have much experience creating and following through with large scale plans like this - almost all of the things she does day to day are driven by either schedules someone else set up, or by whatever she feels like doing in the moment - but she fet good about this. She kept herself busy while she was stuck in bed by herself for a day, she decided what she wanted to do, and it seemed like a pretty good idea. Marina had said she loved Pearl's singing voice before, even if Pearl would usually rather rap, so she was sure her girlfriend would be happy to hear whatever Pearl could make before Valentine's Day. Furthermore, she had everything she could need for the project right there at the apartment, so she was sure that as soon as she could walk around without the fear of collapsing of dizziness she would be able to get to work - probably the next day, if she was lucky.

     It didn't take long after that for Marina to arrive home, and by then Pearl had gotten bored enough of reveling in her successful planning that she was just about ready to leap out of bed to greet her girlfriend. An experimental wiggle of a foot, though, revealed that her legs still felt too jelly-like to even entertain such an idea.

     "I'm back, babe, I missed you," said Marina, as soon as the bedroom door was open. She was dressed in a casual T-shirt and pants rather than the outfit she wore during broadcasts, evidently having changed before heading home. Pearl realized she had missed her too. She hadn't noticed in her focus, but now that Marina was back she felt a relieved comfort settle inside her.

     It was only around 6 in the afternoon, but Pearl felt a wave of exhaustion wash over her. She had intended to voice her affections - maybe mention her earlier desire to throw herself into Marina's arms, or say how happy she was to see her, or even just say 'I missed you too' - but instead the first response she came up with was to groan like an elderly Frankenstein's monster and proclaim, "I'm pooped."

     Marina, to her credit, seemed to find that pretty funny. "How romantic," she laughed, prompting Pearl to laugh with her. They spent a few moments laughing together at the ineloquent response. It was only after that they had both calmed down that Pearl said quietly, "I _meant_ to say something like, 'Hi, Marina, I also missed you.'" Marina burst into giggles again and wrapped an arm around Pearl's shoulders.

     "Well I love you even if you can't talk," she said, placing a gentle kiss on the top of Pearl's head. "So how have you been? Were you alright by yourself?" Pearl nodded, nuzzling her head against Marina's shoulder. "What were you doing all day?"

     Pearl voiced the first thought that came to her. "Thinkin' about you." Technically, she considered, it was true, even if she only said it on impulse.

     Marina laughed. "Aww, you flirt! Did you get some rest?"

     Reminded of her sudden exhaustion, Pearl made a deliberate effort to slump over to put as much of her weight as possible on Marina. "Not _enough,"_ she moaned. Marina laughed again and tried to nudge Pearl off, which only prompted the inkling to lean into her even harder and cause them both to laugh.

     Perhaps she wasn't in the best condition to goof off like that, Pearl decided when she calmed down and noticed her growing dizziness from the roughhousing. She flopped sideways, laying next to her girlfriend who had landed on her back at some point during the previous chaos. Laying next to her girlfriend after spending the majority of the day apart, both of them still panting a bit after all their laughter, the exhaustion that caused the whole ordeal... Pearl could feel her eyes starting to close on their own.

     She heard Marina chuckle. "Pearl, it's not even dinnertime yet."

     Dinner?

     The reminder of food made Pearl's stomach growl loud enough that Pearl was pretty sure she could feel the reverb bouncing through the springs in the mattress. "Oh!" Marina blurted. "Dinner! Oh my cod, you haven't eaten today, have you?" Pearl shook her head, surprised by the abrupt change in tone and distracted by the sudden hollow feeling in her gut. No wonder she hadn't felt nauseous today. "I should've had you eat something this morning, but I totally blanked on it in the rush. I'm such a mess!"

     Pearl nudged her with a shoulder. "I forgot too, I'm a bigger mess."

     Marina stuck out her tongue. "You were too delirious from sickness, I don't have any excuse."

     "Me? Delirious?" Pearl gasped in mock offence. "I'm the most lucid squid in the world. There's never been anyone as grounded as I am." Marina gave a skeptical look. "Okay, maybe there are a few people who are as grounded as I am."

     "That's Pearl, the most down-to-earth girl in Inkopolis." Pearl's stomach released another unsettlingly aggressive growl, and Marina sat up. "Right, you really need to eat something. Soup is good for the flu, right?"

     Pearl furrowed her eyebrows in thought. "I think?"

     "Alright, I'll go make some then," said Marina, sitting up and then sliding off the bed. As she started walking for the door, Pearl made a split-second decision and followed her. Hearing Marina's feet land on the carpet behind her, Marina turned and looked back towards the bed. "You good?" she asked.

     Pearl shifted her weight experimentally from foot to foot. "Yeah, I'm fine. This is simple." She started cautiously walking towards the door, Marina keeping careful watch on her poor balance. Pearl only lasted a good six steps before she stopped and tried to lean against a cabinet. In a calculated attempt to act casual, she didn't actually look at the cabinet while she did so - and so she quickly found herself slipping awkwardly along the side of the cabinet after failing to get a good grip on it, reflexively screwing her eyes shut in anticipation of the incoming thump against the carpet.

     Instead, she found herself being scooped up by Marina, who seemed to have teleported from the doorway directly to her side to catch her. Rather than landing on her back on the bedroom floor in a humiliated pile of defeat, she was held bridal-style in Marina's arms, their faces just barely close enough for Pearl to feel flustered. "Hi," she said, awkwardly. Her face tinged magenta with ink.

     "Hello," responded Marina, not moving from her position kneeling on the floor. She blushed turquoise, evidently about as flustered as Pearl, and cleared her throat. "Um, you alright there?"

     "It's - yeah, I'm good! Thanks for catching me. That was fast."

     Pearl's stomach, ever the mood-killer, voiced its concerns over the delay. "Right, the soup!" said Marina, standing quickly. Pearl, still held in the octoling's arms, startled at the sudden movement. Her reaction was met with an "I've got you, Pearlie," as she was pulled tighter against her girlfriend.

     If Pearl were in the business of asking questions she would have been shocked at how easily Marina slung her around in her arms. She was only like a foot shorter than her, surely it shouldn't be that effortless? But Pearl ignored these concerns in favor of enjoying the moment as Marina carried her toward the kitchen. It was an unexpectedly pleasant sensation, especially given how generally poorly she'd felt throughout the day from sickness. The bed was by no means uncomfortable but Marina's arms provided a uniquely calming feeling, with the sway of her steps, the feeling of her heartbeats against her body, the intensely close presence of the favorite person in her life.

     It was therefore pretty disappointing when, with a faint noise of effort, Marina gently set her down at one of the kitchen chairs, stepping away to start on the soup. Pearl thought she hid her disappointment well until Marina piped up, "Don't worry, babe, I'll carry you on the way back if you want."

     Marina spent the next few minutes stepping around the kitchen, preparing the soup using the instructions in one of the books. Pearl wasn't sure how it ended up in the middle of the counter, opened to exactly the right page, because she didn't notice Marina pulling it out or thumbing through the pages. She decides to assume it had placed itself on the counter and arrived at the correct page via some kind of book-related magic, which Marina had mastered due to her affinity with printed texts. After a few minutes spent daydreaming about Marina as a book-wizard, Pearl started watching curiously as the aforementioned Octoling prepared the soup.

     She'd spent long enough in her thoughts that there was already clearly something going on, with Marina stepping gracefully around the kitchen in long calculated strides to pick up or put down various ingredients and measuring cups. "Marina, how are you do good at cooking?" she wondered aloud. She'd given it a few shots herself in the past, and it always ended with the kitchen filled with sharp-smelling smoke and a new dark stain on the countertop. Marina, however, had never incinerated a dish, to the best of Pearl's knowledge.

     Marina stopped moving to answer. "Well for a simple thing like soup, it's all just following the instructions. The recipe says what to add and all the numbers we need."

     Following instructions, Pearl decided, must simply be another form of book magic.

     When the soup was ready a short few minutes later, Marina filled two bowls and began setting the table. Normally, Pearl tried to help with this part of dinner, but her legs still felt too unsteady. She tried not to feel too weird being waited on like this - she had been used to it once, but since she left home she had gotten into the habit of at least trying to carry her weight. Marina set one of the bowls on the table in front of her, and Pearl had to resist the urge to appreciatively bump her head against the taller girl's arm. Marina was still holding her own bowl of soup and it wouldn't do to jostle it by accident. Instead, she settled for a grateful smile and a "Thanks, babe." Marina ruffled Pearl's tentacle hair and set down her own soup nearby, before stepping away again to the counter.

     "It's no problem, Pearlie. I'm going to make myself a sandwich to go with mine, do you think you want one?"

     With the smell of the soup in front of her, Pearl felt hungrier than she had in a long time. It had been almost a full 24 hours since she last ate, back before they started the movie the previous night. "You bet!" she cheered - or tried to cheer, at least. The cheer died quickly when her throat stung with a sharp pain, reminding her she was still too sick for to raise her voice like that. Suddenly the thought of trying to swallow dry bread with a sore throat wasn't as appealing. "Ouch. On second thought," she amended quietly, "maybe just soup is fine."

     As soon as Marina sat down and they both started eating, Pearl's earlier exhaustion fled, evidently just an effect of going so long without a meal. They started up a new conversation quickly. "How'd the announcements go without me?"

     "It was pretty weird, to be honest. I pretty much just listed the stages, since there was no one to make jokes or discuss the stage with."

     "People are gonna think I'm _dead,"_ Pearl said, throwing her head back dramatically.

     "I don't think so! I'm sure they'll know you just weren't able to come in today. Everyone knows celebrities need time off too, right?" Marina paused. "Pearl, slow down, your soup isn't going anywhere."

     Pearl, who had begun shoveling soup into her mouth between respondes, only stopped for a moment. "No," she said, completely confident, before resuming.

     "Pearlie, you're going to get sick again if you don't eat slowly!"

     "I'm already sick, it'll be fine." Punctuated by returning to her soup with impressive speed.

     "That's - Pearl, you know what I mean, you'll upset your stomach doing that."

     Pearl, truthfully, wasn't putting much thought into Marina's warnings. What she knew was that, presently, she felt extremely hungry, and before her sat what was quickly revealing itself to be the most delicious bowl of soup in the world. The consequences of whatever might happen as a result of this arrangement were something she could consider and deal with later, but at the present moment her most important task was to maximize soup consumption. She was _starving._

     Marina snatched the spoon from her grasp. She hated to take advantage of her size and strength advantage over her girlfriend like this, but it was clear Pearl wasn't listening, and it wasn't so much forceful as just a bit physical. Still, the brief expression of shock Pearl displayed when she was ejected from her soup-eating reverie made her feel bad. The feeling was overridden when she considered the necessity of her action, though, and rather than apologizing impulsively she continued. "Seriously, I don't want you to end up vommitting again. You have to be careful when you're sick!"

     Getting her spoon grabbed out of her hand was enough to make Pearl realize that yes, Marina was probably right, and Pearl was immediately embarrassed for having let herself get so carried away. She bit back the urge to be defensive - that would only make it worse - and instead apologized quietly. "Uh, sorry, 'Rina..."

     Marina cupped Pearl's cheek in one hand. "It's fine, babe, but you really have to take care of yourself." The spoon was returned to Pearl's possession and they resumed dining, Pearl at a much more moderated pace than before. The awkward silence soon dissolved into a peaceful one, and they both finished their meals within a few minutes. Once she was finished with her own, Marina spoke up.

     "So do you wanna finish the movie from yesterday?" She glanced at the clock. "It's only 8 now, but if you're still super tired it can still wait for another day. There's about an hour left."

     The dinner had cleared up her earlier exhaustion, so Pearl was feeling about as energetic as usual, even if she was still dealing with some symptoms of the flu. "I'm down," she said, sliding down from the chair. It seemed like eating had restored her strength, since she didn't feel _quite_ as wobbly as before. Marina stood up behind her.

     "Awesome. I can get it to where we left off." But rather than head to the television to get the movie sorted out, she placed her arms under Pearl's arms and lifted her by the armpits. Her girlfriend squeaked, but didn't squirm.

     "Uh, babe, I'm not the movie?" she said, trying to turn her head enough to get a good look at her girlfriend. The grip wasn't painful, but something about it made her not want to shake around too much, so she was mostly just kind of dangling there like a cat.

     "You're not, but I did offer to carry you back," giggled Marina.

     "This wasn't what I had in mind..." Pearl was surprised again when she was carried straight past the television set and into their room. "Babe??" she asked again, perplexed.

     Marina set her down on the bed. "You've been wearing that nightgown for like two days, Pearl." She pulled the garment over Pearl's head, the inkling absently raising her arms to assist.

     "Oh yeah, I guess I have." Marina pulled off her own T-shirt, leaving on the undershirt beneath it, and slid it over Pearl. Generally, Marina's shirts were pretty big; this made them huge on Pearl, so the T-shirt made a decent nightgown for Pearl to change into. Marina chucked the old gown into the hamper off to the side and lifted Pearl again, this time in a properly comfortable bridal position again.

     If Pearl liked being in Marina's arms before, it couldn't compare to the same feeling now that she wasn't starving and was wearing fresh clothes - specifically _Marina's_ clothes, pleasantly oversized on her and smelling faintly of the Octoling. Her hearts settled into calm rhythms in sync with Marina's.

     When Marina reached the television a short moment later, Pearl was pleased not to be put down so much as adjusted to make sure they'd both be comfortable. She rested her head against Marina's collarbone and kept an eye on the TV as Marina navigated back to where they had left off.

     The details they had seen last time quickly returned to memory, and soon it was as if they were never interrupted. The two girls were quickly lost in the movie, until soon the plot hit its resolution and the movie ended. Once the credits started rolling, Pearl pulled her eyes off the screen. She picked up the remote while Marina yawned beneath her. The yawn spread to Pearl, who went boneless in Marina's arms for a moment before turning off the television and putting her head on her girlfriend's shoulder.

     "I can't believe that her assistant turned on her like that," commented the Octoling as she stretched her arms. She secured her hold on Pearl and stood up.

     "I totally saw it coming," mumbled Pearl, into Marina's arm. "You could tell from the way he was all sneaky in the beginning." She pushed her nose harder into the dark skin, drowsily affectionate.

     "Someone sounds sleepy. And you say that after every movie where someone gets betrayed."

     Pearl nodded stubbornly without pulling her head away, and so mostly just rubbed her face against Marina's arm. "That's 'cause I always see it coming. And I'm not _that_ tired."

     Marina entered the bedroom with Pearl and flicked on the light. Pearl, despite still having her face pressed into Marina's skin, somehow noticed the brightness and recoiled. "That doesn't seem like the reaction of someone who's not tired," she teased, setting Pearl down onto the bed. A sound of high-pitched frustration came from the smaller girl as Marina let go.

     "Come back, you're comfortable," Pearl grunted.

     Marina laughed lightly. "If you're going to go to bed, which I think you should, you still need to brush your teeth and take your contacts out." Pearl grumbled softly but stood up from the bed, making her way to the bathroom. She prepared herself for bed while Marina changed into nightclothes in the bedroom, before they swapped positions.

     Pearl had been laying in bed for a few minutes when Marina exited the bathroom and flopped onto the mattress next to her. "Already?" asked Pearl. "It's only like 9:30 or something, and you're not sick."

     Marina slid under the blankets and up against Pearl. "That's true, but it was a long day without you. I also want to be with you some more tonight." Pearl responded by wrapping Marina in a hug and tucking her head under her chin.

     For another couple hours, Marina laid in place and listened to Pearl's breathing as she read from a book. When she finally noticed herself getting tired, she flipped it closed and set it on top of the drawer by her side of the bed. Pearl was long asleep, her arms resting loosely around Marina's stomach. Marina pulled her close and fell asleep with her face buried in her pink tentacles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking back on this so long after writing it... It doesn't feel like my best work. I hope that you've been able to enjoy it anyways, though. I've already got this whole thing written up, so if there's any interest in the story I'll definitely be able to upload consistently until it's all in here.
> 
> Reviews of all sort, opinions or reactions or questions or whatever else, are all welcome and very appreciated! I would be super super grateful to hear what people think of the fic so far. Thank you for reading! ❤
> 
> (Just in this first chapter, I kept accidentally using present tense instead of past. I think I've fixed all tense-confusion but if you spot any sneaky messed up verbs please point them out to me!!)


	2. Buying Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to an unexpected arrangement, Pearl gets another day to herself to work on her project for Marina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy about the positive response I received on Chapter 1. Thanks to everyone who read it and enjoyed it, and extra extra thanks to anyone who left Kudos or a review! I really appreciate it and I hope you enjoy this one as well.

* * *

    When Pearl woke up to Marina's ringtone, she was alone in center of the bed. Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she was quick to notice the sound of the shower in between rings. Marina had no doubt woken up before her and left her phone here to shower. Pearl sat up slowly and leaned across the bed to look at her girlfriend's cellphone, still ringing demandingly.

     That's their manager.

     Pearl sat up straighter and her eyes brightened. This could be an important call, she knew, so it would be best to pick up, even if Marina wasn't presently available. She swiped it up off the desk and tapped answer.

     "Um... Yeah?" she asked, and immediately felt she probably should have thought that through before she answered.

     "Good morning. Pearl, is that you?" came the voice of their manager.

     "One and only, yeah. I'm, uh, still sick, if that's what you were calling about."

     "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I needed to speak with Marina, though, is she available?"

     Pearl spent a brief moment collecting herself (she didn't want to keep interrupting herself with "uh"s and "um"s more than she already had) before responding. "Not at the moment, but I can pass on a message if you want."

     "That would be perfect," answered the manager. "We've got Callie from the Squid Sisters here today, but Marie wasn't available, so we -"

     "No way!!" Pearl interjected. "Callie?!"

     Marina had, apparently, heard her. "Pearlie, is that you?" called her voice from the bathroom.

     Pearl clamped a hand over the phone's mic. "U-um! Good morning! I'm on the phone!" She removed her hand from the device and lifted it to her ear. "Right, uh, Callie. Continue?"

     Mercifully not commenting on the interruption, the manager cleared their throat and continued. "Callie is coming in today, but Marie isn't available. We feel the broadcasts will go more smoothly with two announcers, so it would be for the best if Marina could come as well today."

     Pearl considered the information. She was feeling fine - well, not exactly _fine,_ but good enough to be alright by herself - and if Marina went in, she would get several hours to work on the Valentine's Day surprise. Plus, Marina would get to see Callie, and she _loved_ the Squid Sisters. Pearl was kind of jealous, but it only made her all the more excited knowing how much Marina would love the opportunity.

     "I'll ask her, thanks!" she said into the phone, and immediately hung up. Wait. That was probably not the correct way to end that conversation.

     She dismissed this concern and set the phone back down on the desk. Their manager knew her, so they _probably_ wouldn't think she meant to be rude by leaving so abruptly. Hopefully. Definitely not once it could be explained, at least.

     She slid off the side of the bed and landed solidly on her feet, satisfied that she didn't feel too wobbly today. After making her way to the bathroom door, she called out to her girlfriend, raising her voice to be heard over the water. "Our manager called," she said, loudly, ignoring the way it made her throat ache.

     "What for?" came the response through the door.

     "The studio wants you to come in today!" Pearl answered, fighting to keep her voice up. "They've got Ca - " she started, but cut out at a sharp sensation in her throat. She strained to try again. "They've got Ca- ACK-," and she broke into a fit of coughs.

     In only a moment the bathroom door was open and Marina had a hand on her back, patting gently to help with the coughing. As soon as she could, Pearl took a deep gulping breath of air, regretting it when the harsh intake stung her throat again. "Ow," she croaked.

     Marina kept a hand on the heaving Inkling's back. "You alright, Pearlie?" Pearl nodded.

     "I'm fine. I gotta tell you what our manager said, though." Her voice was hoarse.

     "Let me turn off the shower first, then you can tell me." She stepped back into the bathroom, leaving a soggy spot on the back of Pearl's nightgown where she'd been touching. Not pure water, obviously, that stuff _hurts,_ but just as liable to soak fabrics as the real thing. She flexed her shoulders ineffectually to try and make the clingy fabric let go of her skin while she caught her breath.

     The shower went silent. Marina stepped out of the shower, towel now more securely wrapped around her - it had been rather hastily thrown on previously - and spoke up. "What were you trying to say earlier?"

     Pearl perked up. "They've got Callie at the studio, but they want you to come too so there'll be two people." She was grateful the water had stopped running; now her throat was _way_ too raw to stand a chance at being heard over it.

     Marina's expression was starstruck, and Pearl pretended not to stare. But her girlfriend was so cute when she was this excited, so she couldn't hide it perfectly. Fortunately, Marina didn't notice. "Oh my cod, for real? Squid Sisters Callie?!" she asked, an octave higher than usual.

     Marina being a huge fangirl over the two idols despite Off the Hook being almost as famous never failed to make Pearl grin. The knowledge that she would be just as excited at this opportunity as Marina was left conveniently ignored. "You bet," she said, in the most excited tone she could manage with less than half a comfortable vocal range.

     Marina's face lit up, and Pearl spent a euphoric moment basking in it. But then it drooped with uncertainty, and Pearl felt an immense and immediate desire to bring it back. "Are you sure you'll be okay without me, though? They didn't say I have to go, right?"

     That wouldn't do. For one thing, Pearl would probably go through a Salmon Run shift alone before she kept that happiness away from Marina, let alone a flu. For another, Marina _needed_ to go - not by the manager's orders, but because Pearl _needed_ to work on the Valentine's song. Marina's concern only cemented in Pearl's mind the absolute urgency of this project: she could not mess this up, at any cost. So it was with this in mind that she answered, "I'll be fine! It was just bad this morning because I tried to shout." She took Marina's hand and pulled her towards the dresser. "You should go see her, we both know you want to!"

     "You won't be jealous or anything? I know you like her and Marie a lot too." Despite her hesitation, she started pulling out her signature work outfit.

     Pearl squeezed her in a hug and immediately regretted it when the motion shook diluted water off the towel and Marina's tentacles, further saturating the nightgown. She pushed aside the discomfort to answer. "No way, babe, I'm happy for you!"

     Marina got dressed for the day while Pearl put her contacts in and changed into some more comfortable clothes, unfortunately having to wear something that wasn't one of Marina's shirts. It wasn't her normal outfit, either, just a comfortable shirt and pair of shorts. They shared a quick, comfortably silent breakfast before Marina had to leave. She pulled on her jacket and slipped on her helmet in an excited hurry. "I'll see you soon, Pearlie! You can text me if you need anything!"

     "Thanks, babe," said Pearl, giving her a brief hug. "Love you. And say hi to Callie for me!!"

     Marina squeezed Pearl back before stepping out the door. "I love you too, and I will. Bye!"

     And she was gone. It was weird, to watch Marina leave by herself when they'd normally be leaving together at this time of day.

     Pearl stopped and considered her options for the day. She knew she should start working on writing the song, since there were only a few days left until Valentine's and she had to have it by then at the latest. If she worked hard, she was pretty sure she might be able to finish writing in the six hours or so until Marina came back. Then all that would be left would be memorizing it, and figuring out how to perform it.

     Determination renewed, she returned to the bedroom and sat down at the desk. Marina usually sat here with her laptop to write music, or in the kitchen. Pearl tended to write basically anywhere - in the bathroom, in the kitchen, at the studio while they were supposed to be announcing stage rotations - but then again, she tended to write raps, and they were usually rather... un-careful. For this, she wanted to make something softer, more melodic, and she wanted to think it through to make it as perfect as possible. Because not only did Marina deserve perfect, but Pearl was confident she could _make_ perfect, because she considered herself a good girlfriend and that's what good girlfriends do on Valentine's Day.

     It was with this complete determination that she sat down and immediately hesitated. Marina's laptop wasn't there, since of course she wouldn't have just left it behind when she left, and that wasn't an issue. Pearl could use their desktop computer, since it had the right software. But that was in the living room, not at Marina's desk. Pearl wanted to channel her inner Marina for this, to make sure it came out sounding exactly as she needed it to. And that could only be done at this desk in the bedroom.

     She entertained the possibility of an extension cord, but she wasn't exactly an expert on computers - Marina was the techie of the two, she knew basically everything. Marina had set up the desktop, so she'd know how to move it, but Pearl wasn't sure how many cords she would need to extend to move the whole thing.

     She left the desk to take a look herself. There were three cords connected to the computer that all went into the wall outlet, so she would need three extension cords that were long enough. Of course, she had no idea whether they had enough, or even whether extension cords long enough to move the computer all the way to the bedroom would be a normal thing to have. But then again, a lot of the things they had weren't normal - Pearl knew for a fact that their computer was exceptionally powerful, since Marina had said so quite proudly after she'd put it together, so that was something they'd had that other people wouldn't. Maybe really long extension cords were something like that. The kind of weird thing they'd have because they were idols.

     Hunting through the various drawers and cabinets she assumed might have the necessary cords proved fruitless, though. About halfway through her search, though, she remembered something anyways - Marina had once complained that her headphone cord was too long, and that it had messed up her audio.

     She supposed it made sense, that a longer cord would make the sound less clear. She knew her way around audio equipment decently enough to assume that could make sense. What she didn't know was whether having a longer cord on the _headphones_ was the issue, or if adding length to the _computer_ cords would have the same effect. What if it messed up her audio and so when she tried to perform it for Marina it sounded awful? The thought was unacceptable. She shoved down a coil of anxiety and rethought her plan.

     So, the computer wouldn't work, and the laptop was with Marina. Could Marina be using it right at that moment? Pearl entertained the thought. What if Marina was composing something while Pearl was looking for extension cords? No, she remembered, probably not - Marina was with Callie right now. A tingle of excitement jumped up through her spine. She hoped their meeting was going well. She'd have to ask all about it once Marina was home.

     While she thought, Pearl's feet carried her to the desk. Once she had returned her focus to the apartment around her, she found herself staring down at the seat. Right. Important.

     So, no laptop and no computer. Pearl considered using her phone. There were probably some workable Digital Audio Workstation apps. But the thought of scrolling through the app store for one filled her with the most resentful feeling of boredom. And what if she was going to show Marina the song after performing it, but her phone was dead? "Here, 'Rina, look at how much effort I put into making this song for you," and her phone is dead. The thought wasn't frightening, as the possibility of messing up the performance had been, but it would be embarrassing to be sure.

     A thought struck her. She could write by hand, on normal paper. It wasn't really her style, but she knew how to do it, and she was pretty sure that could be pretty romantic - hand-written staffs and notes and lyrics? Marina would love it!

     Paper, fortunately, was readily available in a compartment of the same desk she sat it. A pencil, however, proved to be an issue - there were pens, but Pearl knew she would need the freedom of an eraser. Perfection was mandatory, but she didn't expect it to come on her first try. She checked through every cabinet she could reach from her seat at the desk, then stood up and checked the rest.

     She was in her fifth drawer, and none of them had a pencil. A few had one or two pens, but this one was full of them - evidently, this was the pen drawer. Pearl hadn't used it before, since she couldn't honestly remember the last time she had went and written something down on a real piece of paper at home.

     One of the pens, however, was no pen at all, nor any other writing implement: somehow, a plastic stylus had found its way into the pen drawer. Pen-shaped, but no ink to be spoken of. She was pretty sure it belonged to her old DS, but she hadn't played with it in years. It wouldn't do, then, to leave the stylus here. If some day she did want to use it, or Marina did, it would be important that the stylus be nearby when the time came.

     She pocketed the orange plastic stick and stepped away from the desk. It had been so long since she used the DS, she was certain she hadn't touched it since she moved into this apartment with Marina. Wherever she'd left it while they unpacked, it should still have been. She wracked her brain to remember, until finally coming up with the answer.

     It took a bit of searching - she was wrong with the first attempt, and then she remembered wrong again, and then in all honesty she started guessing randomly - but eventually she really truly remembered where she had put it and, just as expected, there it sat. She clicked in the stylus, then wiped her hand on her shirt - the handheld was _really_ dusty. The interaction seemed to have jostled it just enough to wake up one of the LEDs, which started blinking a deep red.

     Pearl wasn't usually openly sentimental, but she had to admit it looked _really_ sad like that, sitting in the corner of a drawer, covered in dust, the battery indicator flickering sadly at her. She imagined it making a forlorn beeping noise at her and immediately discarded the thought when it made her eyes water. No, she reminded herself, this DS does not have feelings. It does not want me to plug it in.

     Looking back at the red light, though, she had second thoughts. Okay, she'd plug it in, but not because she was getting emotional or anything. Sticking the cord into the wall, she felt secure in the knowledge that, should she or Marina decide to play with it some future day, they would be glad to find it full of charge. It seemed happy, too, changing to a pale orange. She wiped it clean with her shirt and admired her work. The light went pretty well with the docked stylus, now that she looked at it.

     The stylus, in turn, reminded her of her task - find a pencil! - and she rushed back to the desk. Pearl didn't dare check the clock yet, for fear it would tell her she had wasted her time. Unless something happened tomorrow too, she wouldn't be able to get more time for her song - and that would be _bad._ She hadn't felt this sense of dread since the incident with Tartar.

     She rifled through drawers as efficiently as she could until she came across the pencils drawer, from which she emerged victorious with another pencil. Full of relief, she sat back down and took a good look at her paper.

     She drew a simple musical staff.

     She stared at the staff.

     She didn't even have a key.

     She stared for what felt like an hour. With a hesitant look at the clock, she regretted not checking earlier - she had no idea how long she'd been sitting there, just that now it was almost 5:30, and she didn't have long until Marina got home.

     With another glance at the staff, she felt her stomach dropping. "No," she thought, "This is fine, this is fine, I can still figure this out."

     "Tonight's just not the night. It happens to everyone, I'll have to do this tomorrow. It'll be smooth sailing then."

     But would she get to work on this tomorrow? What if Marina stayed home? What if she stayed around until Valentine's Day and Pearl never got any time, so she ended up with nothing to present? What if Marina was upset or angry? What if Marina didn't want to talk to her as much, or didn't hug her or touch her anymore, or didn't say "I love you" as much, or-

     Pearl had an idea. She grabbed her phone and scrolled through her apps fast enough she was almost flicking the phone out of her hands with each swipe. She got where she needed to be - group chat app. She opened the group chat she had with Marina and Cuttlefish - someone had dropped in once, called Cuttlefish "gramps", and immediately left. With any luck, it was one of the Squid Sisters - Cuttlefish had let it slip once that they were his grandchildren - and as long as it was one of them she had a chance.

     The username was "Agent 2." She wondered if this meant they were involved with the other Agent numbers she'd met. No time to dwell on it, she copied the name and pasted it into the Direct Message screen.

MC.Princess > YOU GOTTA HELP ME OUT

     She supposed she could have been more tactful, but now it was sent. She watched anxiously to see if a response would come, bouncing one leg to work off nervous energy.

Agent 2 > What's going on?

MC.Princess > Are u one of the Squid Sisters?????

     There was a delay, but not as long as after the first message.

Agent 2 > Who told you? That's supposed to be secret.

MC.Princess > Cuttlefish gave it away  
MC.Princess > listen i'm a huge fan fr but i NEED to call in a small favor are you callie or marie

Agent 2 > I don't think I'm supposed to tell you that?

     Pearl opened the recent apps list and shot through her contact list. She opened Marina's contact.

→[You] Yo 'Rina ❤

     She waited a minute or so for a response.

←[♥Marina♥] Hey Pearlie, what's up? Is everything good?

→[You] I'm doing great!!! I was just curious how are you?? Are you talking with Callie?

←[♥Marina♥] Yeah, we were just talking! She's so cool  
←[♥Marina♥] Callie says hi

→[You] That's sick!!!!!!!! Tell her i said hi back!!!!!

     She swapped out of her contacts and back into the group chat app.

MC.Princess > You're Marie because Callie was talking to Marina while you were texting

     She waited for a response, but didn't get one, so she continued typing.

MC.Princess > listen I just REALLY need a favor super badly okay  
MC.Princess > I'll do like anything

Agent 2 > I don't think that will be necessary. What is it?

MC.Princess > you gotta do the broadcasts tomorrow with Marina

Agent 2 > Isn't your manager supposed to contact mine for this?  
Agent 2 > I was told I might be doing it tomorrow with Callie already anyways.

MC.Princess > NO Callie tomorrow

Agent 2 > ?

MC.Princess > Okay you can't tell anyone but Marina and I are together right  
MC.Princess > And I'm writing her a song for V'sday  
MC.Princess > it's not finished so i need Marina to go to work tomorrow so i can work on it while she's away

     There was no response for a while. Pearl fought the anxious impulse to crush her phone in her grip as she waited - that would do no one any good. She checked the clock, finding that it was already 5:50. Marina would be home soon. She'd probably be leaving the studio soon if she hadn't already. Pearl looked back at the screen.

Agent 2 > That's adorable.  
Agent 2 > I'll do it.  
Agent 2 > If you update me on how it goes  
Agent 2 > Assuming you can. Because I would love to hear about what she thinks of it

     Pearl felt ready to cheer, and it was only her throat - still raw - and the threat of Marina arriving at any second that got her to hold it in.

MC.Princess > THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! Absolute hero!!

     With that last message, she tucked her phone in her pocket and started putting away the paper and pencil she had taken out. The paper was stowed at the bottom of the drawer, so she could find it later but Marina wouldn't - might as well use the staff she had already drawn, once she's eventually ready to start.

     Marina arrived only a few minutes later, and Pearl barreled into her as soon as the door was open. They both skidded a foot or so backwards into the hallway until Marina walked them back inside, reciprocating the hug. "So affectionate today! What's up, Pearlie?"

     Pearl was pretty sure she has just coming down from the adrenaline rush of executing her plan. She was still coming down from the relief of securing another day to finish the song, but she couldn't explain that, so she opted for a simple "I missed you." It wasn't a lie.

     Marina kissed the top of her head. "Aw, I missed you too. You seem energetic, are you feeling better?" Pearl nodded. "That's great! I think if I start talking about my day with Callie I won't be able to stop until dinnertime. So if you want to tell me about _your_ day, now would be a great time."

     "I found my old DS," Pearl said simply. "But 'Rina, you gotta tell me all about meeting Callie!"

     It was true - it really _did_ take until dinner. First they sat down in the living room, Marina sitting in the center of the couch with her legs folded under her and Pearl sprawled over one of the arm rests, her back arched over it and her head dangling upside down over the side. Marina talked about how nervous and excited she was to get to really hang out with one of the Squid Sisters. Pearl wanted to tell her about her own interaction with Marie, but seeing as it would be impossible to explain without giving away her plans she opted not to. The image of Marina pacing outside the studio to psyche herself up to talk to one of her favorite celebrities, as she described herself doing, made Pearl want to squeal from the cuteness.

     After that, they moved to the bedroom, where Marina changed out of her work outfit into a baggy T-shirt and sweatpants while explaining their introduction. Pearl was just as floored as Marina said she had been when it was revealed that Callie was, apparently, a big fan of Off the Hook. "No way!" Pearl had exclaimed, met with a "Yes way!" from Marina, prompting Pearl to repeat "No _way!"_ in an even more dramatic voice, and they went back and forth until Pearl couldn't get any more excessive and Marina couldn't stop laughing long enough to counter "Yes way" again.

     Then they were back in the living room, Marina sitting in her rocking chair and Pearl draped carelessly over the floor like a rug. Marina swung forwards and backwards animatedly as she talked about how she and Callie swapped stories - Callie of the ridiculous exploits shared by her and Marie as children, and Marina of the ridiculous exploits shared by her and Pearl as childish adults.

     Then it really was dinnertime, and over another meal of soup and sandwiches (Pearl was, this time, feeling good enough to have a sandwich of her own) Marina dropped the greatest bomb of the conversation: apparently, Callie and Marie thought a collaboration with Off the Hook had potential. From her interaction with Marie that day, Pearl hadn't gleaned a hint of the kind of admiration Marina said had been suggested, but then again she _did_ enter the conversation demanding that Marie be her wingwoman.

     Pearl was a little disappointed that the explanation had to end - not only was she enjoying hearing about one of her favorite celebrities meeting her favorite person, but simply seeing and hearing Marina this enthusiastic for hours on end was endlessly enjoyable to Pearl. She hoped that Marina would be this happy after meeting Marie tomorrow, too.

     But for all her hopes, there was still only so long Marina could stretch out the details of the day, and it was honestly impressive enough that she had made a six-hour experience last through nearly three hours of continuous explanation. Marina's memory for detail impressed Pearl to no limit - she was pretty sure if she tried to summarize her entire life she would only be able to come up with, like, twelve sentences before running out of details. She'd experienced a whole lot so far, but as for remembering it all - not a chance.

     When Marina finished, it was just past 9, and they had both just finished dinner. Pearl set her plate down in the sink and was listening attentively while Marina ended the summary. "So she said we should meet up again, and I told her that would be really great. Then I got on my motorcycle and drove home -" she unexpectedly bent down to wrap her arms around Pearl's middle from behind, lifting her in a hug - "to the best girlfriend in the world." Pearl squeaked from surprise and flailed to grip the counter.

     "Aw, babe," she said, once she had adequately clamped her fingers onto the countertop. Her face swam with a blush of pink ink and she nuzzled the back of her head against Marina's face. Marina let out an exaggerated "Mmph!" as if she were being smothered in the tentacle hair, and Pearl released a short giggle. As soon as she was set down, she spun in place to wrap her arms around Marina. She couldn't lift her the way she had been lifted - not at all while Marina was in humanoid form, and only barely as an octopus - but she could still squeeze. Marina squeezed back.

     She thought about how she could lose this if she wasn't careful with her time tomorrow. She thought about how easy it would be to get distracted and screw herself over by not having anything on Valentine's Day, and how she would have to go without moments like these if she did.

     Her hearts didn't start beating properly again until she reminded herself that no, she wouldn't do that. She loved Marina, she knew she loved Marina, so there was no chance she would intentionally mess things up like that.

     Said Octoling did not seem to notice Pearl's brief paralysis, because she was still holding her exactly the same. Pearl was grateful.

     The two stayed where they were for a few minutes longer, holding each other and being held, basking in the quiet affection. The moment ended when they both yawned in sync.

     "You should probably get to bed," Marina advised, mostly releasing Pearl. She kept one hand on her girlfriend's upper arm.

     "You yawned too," said Pearl, accusatory. "It's only like half past nine, it doesn't mean we have to go to bed."

     "You're still sick, Pearl. I can tell your nose is still stuffed, at the very least, since you're breathing through your mouth."

     As if she had been caught doing something she shouldn't have, Pearl clamped her mouth shut. She hadn't even noticed she was doing that.

     "And if you go to bed early, maybe the extra rest will be enough for you to be all better in the morning!" The thought made a jolt of hope flutter in her stomach. She was tired of being sick and missed spending her time with Marina at the studio. But, she reminded herself, she needed to stay home and work.

     Joyful thoughts of getting to go in with Marina the next day filled her heart regardless, and she shoved them down, ashamed. She shouldn't want to just forget about something this important.

     Marina guided Pearl towards the bathroom, in which she got herself ready for bed. Teeth brushed, contacts removed, and clothes swapped for sleepwear, Pearl slipped herself into bed. Tomorrow would be a big day, and she fully intended to take advantage of it, which would require a night of good sleep.

     Marina entered the bedroom with her laptop under her arm. "I've got some ideas I want to work on, so I'll join you in a bit," she explained, sitting down at her desk.

     In only a few minutes, the soothingly rhythmic sound of Marina's typing had lulled Pearl to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Reviews are appreciated, I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts / suggestions / opinions so far.
> 
> Note: turns out the rich text editor REALLY doesn't like it when I go back in and edit before posting. If there are any horribly mangled sentences, please let me know so I can fix them and curse the editor for its crimes.


	3. Second Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marie proves to be a dedicated wingwoman, and Pearl makes another attempt at the song. The stress of her task begins to take a heavy toll. Will this affect her productivity?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for imprecisely-described vomiting & psuedo-graphic injury (although it's just ink-stuff), I guess?
> 
> Angst starts picking up in this chapter.

When Pearl woke up, the first thing she noticed was the painful ache in her stomach. The second thing she noticed was that she felt both warm and cold, shivering but sweating at the same time.

     She noticed a third detail when she tried to sit up: Marina was deep asleep, and Pearl was being held tight in her arms. Ordinarily, this would be cause for joy, but Pearl had woken up with something deep in her body ordering her to _move_ \- this was a bad arrangement for such a need.

     A rising pressure in her stomach aborted any attempts at making a subtle getaway and she clumsily pried away her girlfriend's arms, slipping off the bed. The room was too dark to see properly, but she could make out the bathroom door at least well enough to bolt for it.

     Pearl didn't register Marina waking up behind her, calling out a quiet and exhausted "Pearl..?," or walking into the bathroom behind her. She did, eventually, notice a calming pressure against her back, a hand stroking her clammy tentacles, and her girlfriend's welcome presence, soothing even when she was hunched over the toilet in sickness. Marina kept close and spoke gently to her until the retching had ceased, and Pearl turned around to sit down on the floor facing her.

     "Um... How are you feeling?" Marina asked. She took one of Pearl's hands in both of hers.

     Pearl slumped against a drawer and blinked blearily. "Tired," she groaned. "What... What time is it?"

     Marina looked up at the clock, rubbing the back of Pearl's hand with her thumbs. "It's about two in the morning right now. Do you think you're going to do that again?"

     Pearl shook her head weakly and grunted in the negative. "Nn. I just wanna get back to bed." Marina stood up from her crouch and helped Pearl up as well.

     "Alright, but you should wash your mouth out first," she advised, turning the water on already. She stood by while Pearl cleaned and rinsed.

     "How're you so not tired...?," the Inkling girl moaned, leaning heavily against the taller girl.

     "I am, though," said Marina with an exhausted chuckle. "I just woke up with my protect-Pearlie instincts so it's not showing." She made sure Pearl was properly supported before walking her back into the bedroom, flicking off the bathroom light behind her.

     "S'rry...," Pearl mumbled quietly.

     Marina gently nudged her with her elbow. "You don't have to apologise for getting sick, babe." Pearl still felt ashamed - not of her illness, but for something she couldn't fully remember, let alone put into words to explain to Marina. She supposed she would have to think of it later, and for the moment took the reassurance for what it was. Marina helped Pearl into bed and pulled her back into another embrace.

     "Thanks... You're the best," said Pearl, gratefully, already on the verge of sleep.

     "I know you'd do the same for me, Pearlie, you always do your best for me." Pearl couldn't grasp why, so close to falling asleep, but Marina's response brought back a stab of guilt. She mumbled another quiet apology into Marina's chest, but it was too slurred from exhaustion and muffled by Marina's body to be understood. Marina misheard. "I love you too, babe," she said. Pearl was already asleep before she could notice the misunderstanding, and Marina followed only a few minutes later.

\--🎧👑--

     When Pearl woke up again, she didn't remember the previous night's events. Marina was sitting up in bed, tapping at her phone with one hand while the other arm lay in Pearl's grip like a stuffed animal. Pearl was, unexpectedly, feeling pretty alright - her throat felt mostly fine, her stomach wasn't upset or too painful, and overall she felt almost normal. She smooshed her cheek against Marina's arm and spoke. "Good morning, 'Rina. What's up?"

     She could tell something was off when Marina turned towards her - her expression seemed anxious, and a bit conflicted. "Good morning. How are you? I'm speaking with our producer right now," she explained, all at once, gesturing with the hand holding the phone.

     Pearl released the arm she was holding and sat up on her elbows. "I'm feeling pretty fresh, actually. What're they texting about, and why do you look worried?"

     Marina blinked, surprised. "It was that obvious?"

     Pearl nodded. "I can read you like a book, 'Rina. But, uh, really, what's going on?"

     "So you -" Marina started, but stopped, and took a moment to breathe. She did that sometimes, when she needed to organize her thoughts, and it intrigued Pearl, who had never been good at holding back or otherwise managing her words. "They want me to come in to the studio today, since they've only got one person there, and, um, it's Marie, since Callie was there yesterday - "

     Pearl had expected that this would be mentioned, but didn't understand why it would be causing Marina hesitation. Her confusion came out in a question asked on impulse. "That's awesome, babe! Why would you not wanna go?"

     "You vomited again last night, Pearl, I don't want to leave you alone again if you might need me today."

     The memory rushed back to Pearl with a suddenness that left her stunned for a moment. Marina took the silence as a sign she should continue. "But, um, you said you're feeling better now, right? Are you sure?"

     Pearl found her head in time to respond. "Yeah, it'll be fine! I got it all out of my system now. You shouldn't give up this chance to meet another one of our idols." She sent her girlfriend, still looking conflicted, a bright smile.

     "I wish you could at least come too, so I could at least keep an eye on you. And it's not fair you have to miss all this too..."

     Pearl, in all honesty, was also not entirely pleased to have to stay home instead of meeting Callie the previous day and Marie today. But she didn't let it offset her excitement for Marina, and refused to dwell on any regret - she needed to stay home and work for the sake of her relationship with Marina, and that was more important than getting to meet any celebrity.

     So it was easy for her to shrug off Marina's concern for her feelings on the matter. "I really don't mind, I'm just happy you get to go! If you go meet Marie that'll make you happy, and then _that_ will make _me_ happy. Trust me, babe, it's all fine." She punctuated the message by sitting up fully to squeeze Marina in a quick hug. The octoling squeezed back.

     "Thanks, Pearlie. I guess I'll head in today, then." They both held on for just a moment longer before they separated and Marina stood up from the bed. She held out a hand to Pearl. "But first, there's still enough time for us to have breakfast together before I have to leave."

     Pearl took the offered hand and bounced off the edge of the bed to join Marina. "Awesome! I'm _starved."_ She kept her mind off of the project, for now, as they headed to the kitchen. She could think about it more later - no need to ruin a good morning with stress.

     And a good morning it was: there wasn't a lot of time, so they both just had a simple breakfast of French toast, but Pearl had no complaints to make about any meal with her girlfriend for company. They had spent a lot more time than usual apart, so even just a simple moment like this was savored. They sat closer together than usual, and while it did make eating a tad less convenient Pearl kept an arm around Marina's torso at her side, holding her in half a sort of side-hug. Marina returned the affection by leaving a tentacle draped over the top of Pearl's head.

     There was still limited time left until Marina had to leave for the studio, though, so breakfast couldn't last forever. When the two had both finished eating, Marina stood up from the table. Her tentacle slipped off of Pearl's head, but Pearl didn't release from Marina's side. "Pearlie, I have to get dressed if I'm going to go meet Marie," she said, voice light with amusement.

     Pearl, having been pulled to her feet when Marina stood up, nudged her head against the body to which she was latched. "I'm not stopping you," she said. Sure, she was doing it to be a goof, but it also felt good to hold on longer. Marina didn't seem too committed to shaking her off, either, only laughing slightly and putting a hand on Pearl's head.

     As it turned out, she really _wasn't_ stopping Marina - the taller girl more or less dragged Pearl, still clinging stubbornly, to the bedroom and then to the dresser. There was a slight logistical difficulty in changing from sleepwear to her usual work outfit with an inkling wrapped around her side, but at that point Marina didn't have the heart to get Pearl off of her. Pearl herself mostly just wanted to see if Marina could manage the task while she did her best to get in the way. And, of course, to hold Marina more.

     The process didn't take long to dissolve into a sort of lopsided competition, in which Marina tried to switch clothes as naturally as possible and Pearl tried to make that difficult. Both tasks were made harder when they kept breaking into laughter at each other's antics.

     In the end, after a handful of minutes of the fast-devolving madness, Marina won - she had slipped out of her nightclothes and into her signature outfit, despite Pearl's efforts to get in the way. Both of them were breathing heavily from laughter and light exertion. "I guess you really are feeling better if you're this energetic," Marina said, after a few moments of silence.

     Pearl finally released Marina from her arms and leaned back against the clothing drawer. "You're just lucky I'm not fully up to speed, or you wouldn't have gotten anywhere yet," she said with a practiced smirk.

     Marina laughed and elbowed her gently. "If you say so, Pearlie." She took a glance at the nearest wall clock. "Now is probably as good a time as any to head out now to make it on time. You'll text or call me if you do start feeling poorly again, right?"

     In response, Pearl took one of Marina's hands and stood on her toes to kiss Marina's cheek. "Sure thing, babe. You don't need to worry. Just have a cool time! And say hi to Marie for me, too!"

     Marina gave the inkling a quick squeeze. "You've got it." With a trace of hesitation, she let go and stepped back toward the door. "I'll see you in a few hours, then. I love you!"

     "Love you too, babe," answered Pearl. She waved goodbye as Marina left the room, and then the apartment.

     Today was the day. Not only the day, but The Day - now was her real last chance, she told herself. She would have to hurry, but she could make a small song in the handful of hours until Marina got back, with enough focus and dedication. In a burst of motivation, she nearly jumped across the room and into the desk to start.

     In a mere moment the pencil and paper were pulled from their respective drawers and Pearl was staring down at the paper, hand-drawn musical staffs just waiting for a song. A love song, specifically - the best love song she could make. One that would be good enough to keep Marina around, at least until the next Valentine's day. As soon as it came, she pushed that thought aside - thinking about the stakes put a harsh pressure on her heart. The song couldn't come out right if her head was swimming with stress while she wrote it, she told herself. Or maybe she just couldn't bear to keep it in mind right now.

     Either way, Pearl knew what needed to be done. She kicked one leg idly at one of the legs of the desk and put her brain into overdrive to come up with a simple melody to start with.

     After only two minutes of focusing she was distracted by an unpleasant scent. She craned her neck down to check herself, and encountered a distressing truth - she smelled _awful._ She was covered in a strong body odor that reminded her that it had been a number of days since her last shower, and she hoped dearly that it was a recent development. If Marina had been noticing but just ignoring it to be polite, Pearl would die of embarrassment.

     She slid the chair back from the desk and hopped to the floor. There was no chance at all she would write this song smelling like she did, so a shower was long overdue. On impulse, she grabbed her crown off the nightstand as she passed it on her way the bathroom. It had been sitting there for a few days now, and she missed it a bit. Plus, it was only porcelain - it wouldn't be damaged by wearing it in the shower.

     After a few minutes spent setting the temperature and removing the previous night's pajamas, Pearl stepped under the shower. It was refreshing, not only to finally wash herself, but also to have the feeling of the crown on her head after all that time away from it. The familiar weight, even without the rest of her most recognizable outfit, made her feel more like herself than she had recently - this light pressure on her head, this was what it was to be Pearl. Even if she did have to keep adjusting it so the shower water wouldn't push it off.

     It had fallen off a few times in the past, not too often but not quite rarely with how wildly Pearl could swing her head around when she was excited. Almost every time she dropped it it shattered. Porcelain was many things, but malleable was not one of them - and while it wasn't hard to get a replacement the shards could be a pain to deal with. Sometimes literally.

     One time, in particular, she remembered when she and Marina had been hanging out in the studio. One of the jellies hanging out in the square had tripped and slammed into the window behind them, producing a thump loud enough to startle both girls into turning to look. The sudden rotation had been just enough to fling Pearl's crown right off her head and onto the floor, where, like many of its predecessors, it shattered on impact.

     Unlike the others before and after it, however, that particular incarnation of the crown had happened to explode violently enough to send shards of porcelain flying. One shard, particularly sharp and unfortunately ambitious, had managed to piece her leggings and embed itself in one of her legs.

     The whole experience had hurt like mad, and it had taken ages for the doctors to get the shard out. She'd had to sit in squid form for hours just so they'd be able to get to it without having to perform surgery, but the process had still been long and painful.

     Marina had tried after that to get Pearl to get a crown made of something less brittle, but nothing met her strict tastes quite as well as the ceramic she was already using. Every other option was too heavy or didn't look right, even painted or stained. To settle the disagreement, Pearl had wanted to propose a "Porcelain vs Metal" Splatfest to their manager, but -

     Pearl was ripped from her thoughts by the sensation of her crown sliding backwards off her head. She flung her arms behind her on reflex, but with the soap coating her hands only succeeded in fumbling the crown for a few seconds before it clattered to the shower floor, with a terribly ringing clang.

     After a few silent seconds, she opened her eyes (when had she closed them?) and looked down - it was sitting on the shower floor, still intact. She lowered her left foot, which had been lifted in the air when she had defensively curled her knee to her chest, and shuddered violently. That definitely got her hearts going - she forced herself to take deep breaths to work off the adrenaline from the startle.

     Once her breathing was under control she bent down to pick up the crown off the floor, reaching out from the shower to set it down by the sink before moving herself back under the faucet.

     _That was stupid,_ she thought to herself. _That was really_ _ _stupid.__ _ _ _I___ _ _shouldn't have brought that into the shower, and when it started slipping__ _ _ _I___ _ _should have set it aside immediately instead of__ _ _ _ _just pushing it back up until I got lost in thought____ _ _.__ She paused for a moment. _I shouldn't have gotten lost in thought. That was also stupid._

     _You're so stupid, Pearl._ She was pretty sure that wasn't a healthy thought, but she couldn't come up with a reason to doubt herself on it. Hadn't she spent days goofing off instead of doing what needed to be done? Hadn't she started off her last day to work by almost hurting herself? Hadn't she almost annihilated her chances of completing a gift for Marina, with her own carelessness?

     Her reflections left a sharp ache in her chest. She was overcome with regret for having neglected something so important - she had known from the start the importance of a Valentine's day gift. She had seen already what could happen if she failed, she had known perfectly well all along how it would affect their relationship.

     She sunk down to sit on the shower floor under the stream, pulling her knees to her chest. She thought back at how she had wasted her time - playing on the app store, messing with her DS, now making a dumb mistake in the shower - and felt disgusted. How could she have spent so much time doing nothing, knowing what was at stake? Did she not care? _Not enough,_ she decided. _I didn't care enough to put in the effort._ It stung. She rotated her body to face away from the water and hunched forward so it would rain against her back.

     _Awful girlfriend,_ she accused herself. _You spend all day writing lyrics but as soon as it's for Marina you can't be_ _bothered._ She hated herself. Her expression solidified into a glare and she focused it down at the floor. _Now_ _ _I__ _'ve messed it up and it's too late to fix it._ _ _Marie did her best to help__ ____too,____ _ _and__ _ _ _I___ _ _didn't even try.__

     _I'm_ _ _just__ _going to waste the rest of the day,_ she thought to herself, glaring a hole into the shower floor, _And Marina's going_ _ _to hate__ _ _ _me___ _ _.__

     She didn't want to use that word before. It seemed too strong - from what she had seen from her parents, the worst thing that could happen would be indifference. But now, towards herself, she was certain what she was feeling was hatred, and if _she_ was angry at herself she could only imagine how _Marina_ would feel at this betrayal.

     Pearl squeezed her knees tighter to her body and slouched sideways against a wall. Her eyes, still hardened in a glare, began to water. She clenched them shut.

     _Now's not the time for crying,_ she thought to herself. _You should be getting up and out of the shower and writing that song._ She didn't move. _You - I - You need to make the gift now, or that's it._ She shook, once, her back hunching violently for a pulse, but made no move to stand up. _Now, stupid,_ she ordered herself, _It's time to get up and do what you need to do or Marina won't love me an-_

     A harsh, raw cry forced itself from her lungs, unexpected and unintentional. Pearl opened her eyes and glared through her misty vision at the floor, trying to make her expression as angry as she could - she shouldn't be sad, she should be angry, furious at herself and what she had done. The effort broke when a second wail tore itself from her mouth. _I ruined it,_ her thoughts echoed, over and over, as she let herself go limp against the wall. _I ruined it, I ruined it, I ruined it._ Her labored breathing broke into strained sobbing and her eyes, pinched shut again, leaked nonstop.

     She wasn't sure how long it had been once she stopped, only that her back hurt - _really_ hurt. She didn't feel ready to move, but it wasn't any ache. It was an acidic, boiling pain and as soon as she noticed it she reflexively shot upright onto her feet and out of the shower.

     It had been hours, she realized. The city's plumbing system diluted and filtered water enough to be safe, sure, but no amount of treatment could make it perfect - it was fine in small amounts, but more than a half hour and it could get harmful.

     She took a look at the clock. It had been almost four hours under the faucet. She reached a cautious hand and touched her back - it felt raw, and unpleasantly rough, and not as solid as skin should feel. There was thick pink ink on her hand when she pulled it back, and she recoiled.

     The shower floor was painted dark pink with matter that had dissolved off of her back, and she felt ill looking at it. Even after pumping up the water pressure enough to wash the shower clean, there was an uneasy pit in her stomach. She wasn't sure what would have happened if she hadn't gotten out. Would the exposure eventually be enough to splat her, or would she just keep dissolving until there was nothing left? She felt sick thinking about it.

     Toweling off hurt a _lot,_ particularly on her back, but she wasn't willing to wait for it to regenerate passively and there weren't exactly any ink puddles in her apartment for her to duck into to heal. She grit her teeth and ignored the pain, with a concentrated effort not to think about how much ink came off on the towel when she pulled it away. Without letting herself focus on it too much, she brought the towel to the washer and dumped it in in a hurry.

     Finally, after setting the machine to clean it off and dressing herself in a set of light clothes that wouldn't irritate her back while it healed, Pearl sat down at the desk again. She felt drained from the breakdown in the shower and nearly dissolving herself without without giving herself any time to process, and an awful aching part of her begged her to _call Marina, tell her what happened -_ but she couldn't. Marina was away, and for as long as she was away Pearl could work on the gift and fix this whole mess. She avoided thinking about the fact that she had less than an hour left now.

     But the pit of dread taking over her stomach distracted her from the project. She stared at the paper, but it felt far-off and distant; she could barely remember how notes and beats could fit together, let alone try to string anything together to make a tune. She couldn't think, and furthermore she could barely _feel._ Her back hurt, but other than that she only felt exhausted and a bit lonely. She tried to doodle in some random notes but gave up quickly - she was so out of it, half her notes weren't even recognizable musical symbols.

     Impulsively, she crushed the paper into a ball and crammed it back into the drawer she had pulled it from. The thought came her - she knew she would regret it immediately - and she immediately snapped the pencil in half, letting both chunks fall to the floor.

     Looking at the crushed paper in the still-open drawer, and the two halves of the pencil, slowly rolling in opposite directions, made her want to cry again, but she didn't think she could. She picked up the three objects and dropped them all in the garbage bin. Before she could stop herself, Pearl turned toward the nearest clock.

     Less than a half hour until Marina would home. She scowled at the clock for a moment until she couldn't maintain the effort and flopped onto the bed.

     She only had time to lay there for a few seconds before her phone buzzed next to the bed, and she took it and woke the screen almost reflectively.

Agent 2 > Your girl's on your way back now. You've finished everything, yeah?

     Pearl couldn't bring herself to lie.

MC.Princess > Got sidetracked

Agent 2 > Ah, that's no good. You want me to buy you another day?  
Agent 2 > I'm sure I could get something working. Might have to tell Callie about you and Marina if she's gonna be in on it though.

     She didn't think she deserved it, and in all truth she didn't really want to accept - she was tired of failing. She didn't think she could handle another day of this. But if she didn't take this opportunity, she told herself, she could say goodbye to her relationship with Marina. There was no choice.

MC.Princess > That would be perfect, thank you so much

     Pearl's gut felt sore with a painful dread, and she couldn't shake the fear that she would fail tomorrow too. But she knew there was a chance, at least, and any chance would be better than doing nothing. She remained motionless as she tried to stave off the anxiety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you've enjoyed the chapter! If you liked it and haven't done so yet, Kudos are always appreciated, and if you've got any thoughts, reactions, or suggestions to give I'd just love to hear them.


	4. This One Used To Be Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marina arrives home, unaware of what the day had brought Pearl but carrying her own interesting news. Her presence in itself is healing, and the two spend the rest of the day together. But a breakdown can be hard to hide. Will Marina realize that something is amiss?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively titled: In Which Marie Is Not A Very Subtle Wingwoman.

     It felt like only a matter of seconds spent laying on the bed before Pearl heard the lock click at the front of the apartment, and sat up. After a moment's pause, the front door - visible from her position on the bed through the open bedroom doorway - swung open to reveal Marina. There was something almost imperceptibly off about her that Pearl couldn't articulate, and it came to her as soon as the octoling stepped over the threshold into the living room.

     Marina was giving off a faint air of frustration. It lasted only a fraction of a second, melting away as soon as she made eye contact with her girlfriend moments after entering, but the observation injected a coil of fear in Pearl's stomach that lingered even after any semblance of hostility had faded. She felt fragile.

     Marina didn't seem to notice the smaller girl's reaction. What had been silent frustration was almost instantly washed over with affection, and still without speaking she crossed the room to gather the inkling in her arms. Pearl hesitated, internally shaking off what anxiety remained from the unexplained tension of Marina's arrival, before hugging back. "Hey, babe," she said. Her voice was weak and shaky, but she could feel the contact with her girlfriend already putting her back together.

     "I missed you, Pearlie," said Marina, burying her face in Pearl's tentacles. She pressed a kiss to the smaller girl's forehead, and Pearl felt herself forgetting her problems already. Marina was there, and she loved her for now, and she could still fix things tomorrow. Everything would be okay. She squeezed affectionately around Marina's torso.

     "How was meeting Marie?"

     Marina moved as if startled, still holding Pearl close. "A-ah, it was, um..."

     Pearl's eyes widened. "Not good?" she asked, surprised and confused.

     Marina spoke hesitantly. "She was nice, but, uhm, she was a bit..." At Pearl's inquisitive silence, she continued, whispering as if they were at risk of being heard. "I think she has a thing for you."

     Pearl's jaw dropped. "Whuh?"

     The reaction broke through Marina's hesitation and she let out a small laugh. "It made me feel a little possessive, to be honest! She kept talking about you. It was kind of weird." Pearl blinked stupidly. "Like, really blatant... Saying that you probably make the best Valentine's gifts and saying you'd be a great partner - I never told her about us, so there's no way she'd know, I think she's just into you. It was really embarrassing." She laughed again, awkwardly, and Pearl laughed too, though her heart wasn't in it.

     First off, she couldn't believe that Marie had tried to talk her up to Marina, or that she had been so bad at it. Second, she was a little uncomfortable with the result - she felt like she had manipulated Marina, somehow, and together with the irony of the Valentine's comment it hurt more than it should have. She brushed off the faint pain in her hearts with laughter. "Don't worry, babe, Marie is awesome but she's got nothing on you."

     Marina rubbed her cheek against the top of Pearl's head. "Aww, Pearlie. I love you too." There was a comfortable pause in conversation before she broke the silence again, letting go of her girlfriend. "Hey, so, do you want to go out and do something today? You seem like you've been feeling a lot better since this morning."

     Pearl perked up. It had been a while since she left the apartment, and some fresh air would be great - spending the time with Marina would make it perfect. "Yeah, that sounds sick! You got anything in mind for us to do?" She was nearly bouncing on the heels of her feet already.

     "One of the things Callie mentioned yesterday was a new coffee shop that opened up a month or so ago on the other side of Inkopolis. I know it's pretty late for coffee, but I'd love to check it out. She said it's pretty fresh."

     She really did start bouncing at that. Marina let out a pleased chuckle at the reaction before Pearl could even answer. "I'm down with that! Let's go!" She took one of Marina's teal-tipped hands and pulled towards the door.

     "Pearlie!," laughed Marina, pulling back. "I've got my coat, but you need yours. If you walk out here without it in this kind of weather you'll just get sick again." As stubborn as she liked to be, Pearl wouldn't argue with that. She doubled back to the closet and took Marina's hand again only after putting on a coat. It was longer and fluffier than Marina's rubbery motorcycle jacket, but Pearl had always been more susceptible to the cold - the contrast wouldn't be too out of place. Marina squeezed gently on her hand and they walked out together, side by side, to the parking garage.

     Marina gave Pearl the name of the place as she sat down on the motorcycle, her girlfriend taking her spot behind her. The taller girl worked on starting up the engine as the smaller poked the information into her phone to bring up a map. Just before pulling out of the garage and onto the road, Marina placed a small earpiece into her right ear beneath her helmet.

     They were still moving at a slow enough pace for Pearl to tap through the menus that would connect her phone to the earpiece, and then cue their normal navigational app to start reading directions into Marina's ear. By the time they were on the main road it had connected, and Pearl wrapped her arms around Marina's stomach while her phone spoke directions into the octoling's ear. As soon as she confirmed her passenger was secure, Marina sped up and started following the automated advice.

     They didn't usually converse while Marina was driving, mostly to make sure Marina could focus on the road, but Pearl never minded the break. She was more than content to lean forward against Marina, the side of her head pressed up against her girlfriend's shoulder blades, listening to her heartbeats and the engine and the various sounds of traffic. It was a relaxing experience, and Pearl only regretted that Marina couldn't experience that same peace, with the need to focus on the road and follow the earpiece's directions. She would have to remember to thank her for driving them, once they arrived.

     It took a while longer to get to the far side of the city where the coffee shop was, enough that it was already 6:30 in the evening when they stopped in the parking lot Regardless, there were still a small handful of people talking in groups around the tables. A few stopped and stared, some more overtly than others, when the two idols walked in. Marina waved awkwardly while Pearl gave a practiced smirk, before they approached the counter to order.

     After looking through their options, they made their requests - Marina took a hot mocha while Pearl ordered an iced latte, a decision that earned her a weird look from the barista given the weather. Marina didn't seem surprised but did roll her eyes affectionately, which Pearl chose to interpret as approval. "I wish I could be surprised, Pearlie," she said, using a low voice to avoid potential eavesdroppers. There were still a number of curious customers keeping an ear on them.

     "You love me," Pearl snickered back, quietly. She left it at three words - keeping her voice down was always a struggle, and the more words she gave herself the more likely it became she would get too loud.

     Marina subtly grabbed her hand between them with a smile, which Pearl returned for a long moment.

     They both jumped in place when the barista appeared again, interrupting them. "Your orders are ready, uh, ma'ams," he said, setting two drinks on the counter. The one on the left was releasing a slight column of steam from the hole in the lid, while the drink on the left rattled slightly with ice as it was set down. The girls picked up their respective drinks, thanked the barista, and paid. Rather than sitting at one of the unoccupied tables with their drinks, Marina addressed Pearl.

     "You wanna head outside?" She gestured covertly toward the other customers, still paying them too much attention, with her eyes. Pearl nodded gratefully.

     "Thanks," said Pearl, once they were outside the store. "It's a real hassle to be all whispery in there."

     Marina hummed in response and put an arm around the smaller girl's shoulders. "I know. My precious, naturally loud Pearlie." Pearl blushed lightly and put her head against Marina's shoulder.

     "So do you wanna walk around the area with these or what?" The motorcycle didn't have cupholders, and in the absence of somewhere private to sit there weren't many other options. Marina seemed to agree with her thinking.

     "Sounds like a plan." She released her arm from Pearl's shoulder and took her hand instead, letting one of her tentacles lay on her girlfriend's head. The two picked a direction and started walking, starting on their drinks.

     For a while, they walked in silence, side-by-side with their hands linked between them. There weren't many cars in that area of the city around that hour, and even fewer pedestrians, so they paid little mind to masking their affection. "Oh! I forgot to mention, thanks for driving us here," said Pearl, remembering her earlier thoughts.

     Marina took a moment to lower her cup from her mouth and swallow, turning to the inkling. "It's no problem, babe," she said with an easy smile. Pearl's hearts fluttered lightly and she grinned back, squeezing Marina's hand. "Wait, hold on a second," she spoke suddenly. Pearl stopped and looked up at her, confused.

     "What's up?"

     Marina only responded with an idle "Hold on" and started staring intently into Pearl's eyes. The inkling felt a pink blush appear as a response to the stare, but Marina didn't comment on it, only leaning closer.

     It wasn't any sort of romantic expression, so Pearl was feeling rather clueless at Marina's behavior. Still, she didn't lean away or ask again, knowing how Marina could be when she was focused on something. She wasn't sure what was going on, but Marina looked pretty cute this focused, so she just rolled with it.

     "Your contacts aren't in," observed Marina. Pearl's eyes widened, and she was about to express her surprise (and forgetfulness), but Marina wasn't finished. "And your eyes are looking kind of red. Have your contacts been causing problems again?"

     Her blush returned to dye her face pink, no longer from embarrassment but distress. Her eyes being red was almost definitely from her breakdown earlier - she hadn't forgotten it, even if she hadn't been thinking about it - but Marina couldn't know that. Her head felt hot and she felt a shakiness in her hands, one of which was still held tight by Marina - she suppressed the shaking first, hoping it might be mistaken for a brief shiver. She opened her mouth to come up with a response. "Uh."

     "If they're causing problems you should probably mention that to the optometrist, babe." Pearl didn't say anything. A second later, Marina added, "Unless maybe it's a flu thing?"

     Even in her momentary stress, Pearl knew how to take an excuse when it was presented to her. "I think that's it, yeah," she said, breaking eye contact. "They're, um, from, the flu stuff." She brought her latte up to her mouth and took a long drink to clear some of her anxiety.

     "Hmn, makes sense. Maybe keep them out tomorrow just in case they're making it worse though, okay? Your glasses will work for a day." Pearl nodded behind her cup and they resumed walking, the topic left behind.

     They looped back around after a little while, and so by the time they got back to the motorcycle Pearl had finished her coffee and Marina was close to done. "That was a nice walk," said Pearl. "We should do that more often."

     "Mhm," confirmed Marina, finishing the last of her drink. After a moment's pause she pulled the now-empty cup down from her mouth. "It was peaceful," she amended. "I like spending time with you like this." Pearl turned and wrapped her in a loose hug.

     "Aw, me too, 'Rina. Are we gonna head home now?"

     The sun has already set at some point during their walk, so Marina didn't even have to check her phone for the time. "Yeah, that's a good idea." The two dropped their cups in the plastic wastebin the front of the shop before returning to the motorcycle

     Pearl pulled her phone from her pocket. "You want the directions app or do you remember how to get home without it?"

     The octoling considered for a moment before answering. "I think I know the way, but directions can't hurt." She sat down in the front and started up the motor.

     Taking the seat behind her, Pearl asked, "How about I drive us?" It was a joke, of course - Pearl's legs were too short to comfortably manage the motorcycle as a driver, and while she thought it would be fine if she stretched Marina had insisted it wasn't safe. Since then, she'd liked making the suggestion from time to time just to annoy her girlfriend.

     "Baaabe," Marina groaned. Pearl bust out laughing at the exasperation of the reaction, and Marina couldn't help but laugh along. "Maybe once you're a big girl you'll be ready," she said, drily, once they'd quieted down.

     "Harsh!," giggled Pearl, making them both laugh again. She typed their building into the directions app and put her arms around Marina's body. "Well I'm ready to go whenever you are, 'Rina." She settled the side of her head against her girlfriend's back.

     "I wish I could hold you while we ride like this," said Marina, turning out of the parking lot onto the empty road.

     "You can! We'd just probably crash," Pearl pointed out.

     "No jokes once we're on the road, Pearl."

     "Right, sorry."

     "It's all good."

\--🎧👑--

     It was around 9:30 when Marina parked in the garage and the two made their way up to their apartment. While they stood and waited for the elevator to arrive at the ground floor for them, Pearl took Marina's hand again. "You were just holding on to me all the way here," Marina teased. "Is someone looking for attention?"

     "Yeah, and someone's gonna give it," answered Pearl, adjusting her grip on her girlfriend to clutch her whole arm to her chest.

     Marina laughed quietly and leaned flush against Pearl. "My arm isn't a stuffed animal, Pearlie."

     "Maybe, but - " She was cut off by the elevator dinging in front of them, revealing one of the other residents of the apartments. The girls jumped apart and Pearl tried to pretend she hadn't just been cuddling an arm in a hallway. "Good evening, sir," she said, uncharacteristically formal. The crab grunted what might have been a greeting and walked past them both.

     "That was embarrassing," Marina said quietly once they were in the elevator and the door was closed.

     "It's your fault for being too huggable," accused Pearl. Marina made a show of looking appalled at the blame but dropped the expression when Pearl latched onto her arm again.

     "Pearlie, I can't act offended when you're being that cute..." she pouted. Pearl snickered and started swaying back and forth with Marina's arm. She laughed. "Maybe you've had a little too much caffeine, babe."

     "Nah. This elevator's just too slow and I'm bored."

     "Well, maybe they could replace it with that ride at Wahoo World where it goes up at like - "

     "Oh my cod, noooo," Pearl moaned. Marina burst out laughing and Pearl bit back a giggle to keep complaining. "That thing was evil, Marina. It would so not be a good replacement for an elevator." She released her girlfriend's arm and slouched dramatically against the wall. "I'm pretty sure it would, like, kill that old guy who lives below us." Marina didn't manage to stifle a surprised snort.

     "Pearlie!," she chided, her smile giving away her amusement, "You're not supposed to say things like that about your elders!"

     "You're laughing though, you're so immature," giggled Pearl, ignoring the fact that she had not only told the joke but was now laughing at it herself. Marina poked her in the ribs, earning a startled squeak, before the door slid open with a ding. "Yo, finally. It's been, like, an _hour,"_ Pearl complained, taking Marina's hand and pulling her into the hallway.

     "Definitely too much caffeine for you."

     "What? Nah. I'm just excited." They stopped at the door, where Marina unlocked the apartment to let them both in.

     Immediately, Pearl caught the strong, acrid smell of dissolved ink, and a rocket of panic shot up her spine. Her back had long since stopped hurting - it was almost definitely already healed - but evidently the shower pipes were still lined with lost ink from the morning. She barely kept it from showing as she watched Marina in the corner of her eye. After a moment of pause, the octoling scrunched up her nose. "Ick. Pearl, do you smell something?"

     "No," she said, a bit too fast and a lot too hoarse. Marina turned to face her suspiciously.

     "Come on, Pearlie, I can hear it in your voice, you definitely noticed. I know you like to be tough, but pretending not to smell something is just silly."

     Pearl couldn't come up with a response. Denial would only dig her deeper, and she didn't want to gaslight Marina or something. But she couldn't put together any other string of words in her head, and when she tried to improvise all that came out was a straining gasp.

     "Oh! Pearl, I'm so sorry, was that too mean? I didn't mean it in a personal way but I - "

     Pearl caught a breath and interrupted, waving her hands frantically to try and clear up the misunderstanding. "No, no, it's fine! It wasn't what you said."

     Marina frowned, feeling like she was missing something. "It's not? Is everything alright, Pearlie?"

     Pearl produced a rehearsed smile. "It's all good."

     "And you'd tell me if there was something upsetting you, right?" Evidently, Marina had caught more than expected from Pearl's reaction. Pearl promised to herself not to let herself slip again - there was no use making Marina worry, and if she gave away how she had been messing up there would be so salvaging the situation.

     She nodded in response. Marina looked hesitant, but unprepared to push the issue. Pearl decided to change the subject. "Hey, so we haven't played any of those new games we wanted to try in a while. Do you want to do that tonight?"

     Marina smiled a soft smile. "Hey, that sounds like a good idea. Did you have one in mind?"

     Pearl lit up, the previous tension already repressed to the back of her mind. With what seemed to be one mighty hop, she crossed the living room and landed before the television system. "Yeah! I was thinking of this one, actually," she said, pulling out the game case with the most explosions on the cover. "It seemed pretty sick when we found it."

     "I still think we should have looked it up before we bought it, but maybe you're right."

     Pearl scoffed and flopped back on the couch, inserting the game into their console. "That's exactly what the cover is for, 'Rina, to know what the game's like. This one's gotta be great, it had the best cover in the whole co-op section!"

     As it turned out, that line of thinking didn't hold up at all. It was some kind of racing game, but the controls felt unusually wonky and the cooperative mode was absurdly difficult. Rather than switching to splitscreen, Marina and Pearl were assigned different parts of the same car, with one character on steering and the other on the gas and brake pedals. The result was chaotic, and largely counterproductive - as soon as they finished the tutorial they started falling apart.

     When Pearl was put in charge of the petals, she had a hard time figuring out when to let go of the gas, more often than not sending them careening over cliffsides on sharp turns. When Marina had the petals, she would hit the brakes every time Pearl tried to ram a computer vehicle, sending them skidding to the side. Their most impressive feat of teamwork was when they both cooperated to cause a four-vehicle pileup in the middle of a racetrack, which culminated with all four cars tumbling into a water hazard.

     All in all, each race was filled with first confusion as they tried to work out who was on which part of the controls without slowing down, and then a destructive chaos as they spun out all over the track until getting last place. Both girls spent almost the entirety of each race laughing until their sides hurt, just from the chaos of it all, and they kept going for a handful of hours until Marina caught Pearl trying to covertly lay down on the arm of the sofa.

     "You look like you're getting tired. Do you think we should call it quits for the night?"

     Pearl shook her head. "Nah, I can keep going." She punctuated her denial with a long yawn, stretching her arms above her head. "Or... maybe sleep is a good idea."

     Marina let out a quiet laugh and switched off the console, setting aside her and Pearl's controllers. "I had a lot of fun spending time with you today, babe," she said softly, putting a hand on the tired girl's head. Said inkling nodded with a sound of affirmation before sitting up sluggishly. "That is _definitely_ a caffeine crash."

     With a nudge of guidance from Marina, Pearl headed for the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She changed into a comfortable nightgown and flopped onto the bed in a heap, barely even bothering to squirm under the covers. Marina sat down on the mattress next to her with a book, smiling when Pearl shifted under the covers to press up against where she was sitting. She put a hand under Pearl's tentacles and rubbed gently as she read. In only a few minutes, Pearl was asleep; Marina set down the book and joined her a short few hours later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you like this chapter's title? It's true, Chapter 3 used to be around 8000 words, and this was the second half. Since writing it I have decided that an 8K-word chapter would only appeal to a complete maniac and I can better accommodate readers by instead uploading chapters of actually reasonable length.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, and I'd really love to hear what you thought - every review is treasured and appreciated. If you haven't left Kudos yet and you want to now, that's also super sick. ❤


	5. Dawn of The Final Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl's last chance is upon her - it is the day before Valentine's, and she has tasked herself with starting and finishing the song now before it's too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featuring: Pearl doesn't know how to make toast, based loosely on an experience of your humble author (i'm kinda dumb okay)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

     Marina didn't sound pleased the next morning, when Pearl found her way back from a dreamless sleep. She pried an eye open, catching sight of her girlfriend facing away from her, talking into the phone. Words began to take shape out of the undefined tone of displeasure she had identified.

     "-wouldn't have to today, and now there's no one?" Pearl's ear, the one that wasn't buried in the pillow, flicked slightly as she started to tune in. Marina listened silently to the phone for a moment before resuming. "Well, no, I didn't have anything important, but it's not fair to go back on what I was told to expect yesterday. This isn't professional."

     She went silent again, listening to what the phone had to say, and Pearl sat up to make her presence known. The creak of the bed as she moved clued Marina in, who turned and waved silently. She held up her finger to indicate to Pearl to hold on a moment longer.

     A second later, she began talking into the phone again. "Alright. I understand. I'll be there in time for the first broadcasts." There was a tightly concealed frustration in her voice, that Pearl could only identify thanks to having known Marina so closely for as long as she had.

     After a brief, unintelligible final word from the phone, Marina ended the call and set down her phone. Pearl rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "What's goin' on, babe..?"

     The octoling let out a deep, heavy sigh. "Apparently the Squid Sisters cancelled on the broadcast, and nobody else they contacted said no. So they don't have anyone to come in and announce the stages." Pearl spent a moment processing the information before her memory caught up - it must have been the work of Marie and Callie. She really _had_ found a way to buy Pearl an extra day. She felt bad, though, that it seemed to come at the cost of annoying her girlfriend and stressing out the crew like this. It was too late to ask them to call it off, though, and when she thought about it she really did need the time.

     Today was the thirteenth, meaning Valentine's would be tomorrow. They had that day off, so it would be the perfect day to present Marina with the song - provided it was finished. Her girlfriend kept explaining the situation. "So they just called urgently to ask me to come in by myself, since it's still against policy for you to come in less than 48 hours after you were sick."

     Pearl ignored the pang of guilt for now. "Ow, that sucks. Sounds like they said you'd be free today yesterday?"

     "Yeah, that was the plan," said Marina. "But I guess it's not anyone's fault in particular that it didn't work out." _Mine,_ interjected Pearl in her thoughts, _It was my fault._ She didn't give it voice. "I'm not sure if you noticed, but this was kind of sudden. I'm not sure there's enough time for breakfast, I guess I'll have to eat at the studio..."

     Pearl couldn't stand the disappointment in Marina's voice. Marina always valued their time together, and she tended to get particularly upset about missing the opportunity to eat together. For her part, Pearl didn't like missing time with her girlfriend either, mealtimes included - but more than that, she wanted to get the glum resignation out of Marina's voice. She didn't even think to look at the clock to check the time before she spoke. "Wait, but what if I make breakfast quickly while you get dressed! Then we'll have time to eat together!"

     "For real?" Marina sounded so pleased that Pearl found herself nodding enthusiastically, before even considering how feasible the plan would be. "It's been a while since you tried to make breakfast."

     "Anything for you, 'Rina. I'll figure it out, easy!" She slipped out of bed, still tired from having just woken up but at the same time possessed with a desire to make her girlfriend happier. Enthusiasm and lethargy weren't a combination frequently seen together, but Pearl perfectly exemplified both as she sped out from the bedroom. In the corner of her eye, she saw Marina start to select her day clothes from the dresser, wearing a smile on her face that made Pearl's hearts flutter with affection.

     Marina would be getting dressed for work, but also showering and performing the various other tasks needed to get ready for work - easily enough time to figure out a simple breakfast, Pearl was sure. She flitted from point to point in the kitchen for ideas, still trying to get her brain up to speed after just having woken up. After her third pass by the toaster, it registered in her head. She knew how to make toast, and while it was a bit of a gamble as to how it turned out she was reasonably confident she could pull it off.

     She grabbed a couple of slices of bread from the pantry, but froze moments before slotting them into the toaster to think. Should she put the butter on _before_ or _after_ toasting...?

     After a moment's deliberation, she decided to check - if anywhere would tell her how to make buttered toast, she assumed it would most likely be on the packaging for the butter. She darted to the fridge and snatched out the packaging, taking a look at the wrapping.

     It took a few confused blinks for her to realize she had skipped putting in her contacts to go straight for the kitchen, which made it endlessly tricky to make out the miniscule text on the package. When bringing it even closer to her face proved fruitless, she turned and charged back for the bedroom.

     Marina was about to enter the bathroom to shower when Pearl burst back into their room holding a box of butter. The inkling wasn't looking at her, instead making a quick scan of the room. "Um, is everything alright, Pearlie?"

     "Gotta get my glasses," Pearl said simply, running her eyes across the room with laser focus. She hadn't worn her glasses in a while - at least a couple weeks - and couldn't really remember where she could have left them. Marina had the answer.

     "I think the case is at the back of your side of the top drawer." Pearl gave a quick thanks and hurried to it, sliding it open and setting the butter aside. She pushed some articles of clothing aside to reveal the case, which she promptly pried open. The set of glasses contained inside went over her eyes and she blinked idly for a second, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the clarity. "You got them?," called Marina from the bathroom.

     "Yeah! Thanks again, 'Rina!" She slid the drawer shut and darted from the room back towards the kitchen.

     She was stopped by Marina's voice, sounding light with restrained laughter. "Pearlie, you forgot something!" Pearl turned on her heels and rushed back to the room.

     Marina's head poked out of the bathroom door, looking at her with an amused smile. Before Pearl could ask what she missed, the octoling sent a meaningful glance toward the butter sitting on top of the dresser. "Oops! Got it, thanks, I was just, uh, leaving it there!," Pearl excused as she took it back and left again. She could hear Marina chuckle good-naturedly as she headed for the kitchen.

     After nearly slamming into the fridge door, which it turned out had been left open when she ran off earlier, Pearl stepped up to the toaster and took another look at the butter packaging. She skimmed the front, the back, and the sides, but there were no instructions for toast - she groaned internally at the wasted time and set the box aside. She was pretty sure by now it was supposed to go on after, anyways, and she assumed it probably wouldn't matter too much anyways. She could cross that bridge when she got to it.

     She stuck the slices of bread into the toaster slots and set the dial to what looked right. Once it started ticking the way it was supposed to, Pearl stepped back to think about what else needed to be done.

     After a moment of deliberation, she pulled two glasses from the cupboard and retrieved the orange juice - two cartons, pulpless and extra pulp - from the fridge. While she was there, she grabbed the mayonnaise as well. Marina still didn't like it (oddly enough...), but she could still use some for her own toast.

     Nothing else she would need to do came to mind, so Pearl took a seat at the table where she could keep an eye on the toaster, keeping the mayo jar in her hands to fiddle with while she waited. Pearl sat for a while, idly screwing and unscrewing the lid, taking occasional glances at the toaster. It wasn't long before her mind wandered, and the closest subject at hand ended up being the jar she was fidgeting with.

     She thought back to that Splatfest a few years back which had featured her favorite condiment, and had to fight the urge to sound out her mayo rap as the memory came to her. Not out of humility, of course - she would gladly once again sing of her affection for mayonnaise, and about its Splatfest victory, but for practical reasons. She knew from experience that if she started rapping, even just to distract herself while she waited, it was entirely possible she could end up in a groove and miss the toaster entirely when it was finished. Even an opportunity to brag in rap form was not worth running the risk of having to serve Marina burnt toast.

     Thinking about the possibility, however, brought her mind back to the past few days. She thought about it in the context of her recent struggle - she had to fight to avoid getting lost in a rhythm making up raps about food, but she couldn't spend a single hour making a song for her girlfriend?

     Her mood fell abruptly enough that even she noticed the shift. She tried to pull her thoughts back to the old Splatfest, but the effort only made her feel gross inside - it didn't seem right to distract herself anymore. _That's guilt,_ she thought to herself. _That's what you feel when you're_ _ _an awful girlfriend__ _._ She twisted the lid on and off the jar. __Awful__ __girlfriends don't get to distract themselves.__

     Pearl couldn't bring herself to fiddle with the lid anymore and set it on the table beside her. She crossed her arms and hunched forward to stare at the kitchen floor, suddenly feeling all too small for the apartment. _This_ _ _is__ _how it will_ _ _always feel__ _in here once Marina's_ _ _gone.__ On its own, her face fixed itself into a scowl. _I deserve it. She should be with someone who cares._

     A part of her objected to that, wanted to believe she really did care about Marina - but Pearl beat it back. _Someone who_ _ _cares doesn't__ _blow off_ _ _things__ _like this for three days_ _ _straight__ _._ It was hard to come up with an excuse.

     Her throat felt blocked and her chest hurt. She twisted her eyes shut and willed herself not to cry - she did this to herself, she thought, she had forfeited the right to act like a victim. The effort did little to help. Her breath was catching and she was balling up her fists-

     The toaster let out a noisy ring and Pearl shot into the air with a gasp. She landed standing upright and caught her breath, blinking the first traces of moisture from her eyes. She wasn't feeling any better, but she had a task to complete, so she crammed down whatever had been surfacing itself and moved to the toaster.

     It didn't seem burnt, which she noted with a hollow satisfaction. She fished a flat knife from the drawer and spread what seemed like a reasonable amount of butter on each side, then poured two glasses of orange juice.

     Once everything was returned to the fridge and the toast was at the table, Pearl returned to the bedroom. Her throat still felt weird, and she wasn't feeling much for conversation, but she had to make sure Marina would be ready before the breakfast went cold.

     She knocked on the bathroom door. The water was still running, so she tried to call out over the sound of the water. "It's ready," she said - unusually quietly. Her natural speaking voice was normally more than loud enough to project over the shower, but now she could barely manage the volume to talk through the door.

     Marina must have heard her, despite the uncharacteristic quietness, because she responded after only a moment's delay. "I'll be there in a minute, babe!" Internally, Pearl scolded herself - Marina hadn't noticed, but with the way her voice had come out so croaky it was only a matter of luck. She couldn't let her emotions be this visible, or Marina would find out, and it would only make her worry. With a moment more of hesitation, Pearl turned away from the bathroom door and headed back to the kitchen to wait.

     Marina had always been the kind of person to deliver on her words, straight to the letter, and so it was unsurprising when she showed up no more than an actual minute later, fully clothed and mostly dry. Pearl wasn't sure how Marina did it so quickly, but she didn't manage to dwell on it for long - instead, she forced an impressed smile to her face.

     "Wow, that was pretty quick." Despite the ache in her hearts, Pearl's voice came out sounding as normal as ever, as far as she could tell. Marina grinned.

     "I couldn't delay breakfast with my Pearlie." She lowered her gaze toward the plates. "And it looks like it came out pretty good, too. I'm glad you gave this a shot!"

     Pearl knew she should react to the compliment, but suddenly her mind was blanking - something about Marina's pride was shutting down her brain. Her voice felt caught in her throat, she couldn't pull together more than two words in her head, and, stuck without anything to say, she flashed a smile.

     It came out more pained than grateful, if the way Marina's face turned in response was any indication. Pearl's hearts jumped before the octoling even spoke. "Babe? Is something bothering you?"

     Pearl's face flushed and suddenly she was stumbling over words. "No! No, I'm not- I'm fine!" She couldn't let Marina worry. "It's all good." Marina frowned, and Pearl's hearts sped up in sync. She had to say something, but she _knew_ if she tried to speak the tension in her voice would give her away. _I can't let her_ _ _see how I'm feeling, it'll just__ _hurt her,_ she thought. _This is my own fault anyways._ Marina saw through Pearl's efforts.

     "You seem upset... Pearlie, really, you can tell me if something's wrong."

     "I'm fine!," she repeated, too quickly - even she could tell she sounded panicked, and she was repeating herself. "There's nothing going on." That sounded suspicious as anything, but she had managed to school her tone at least enough to pretend she was lying well. Her arms and legs were shaking from adrenaline, so she held her posture stiff to try and block the shivers.

     Marina looked uncomfortable. Far too uncomfortable to have believed the attempt at deflecting her concerns, and Pearl argued internally with the pit of guilt that clenched at her throat. Either way, Marina didn't seem willing to press after the smaller girl's obvious resistance. She wore a conflicted expression for too many seconds before responding. "Alright... When you're ready, you can talk to me, though. About anything."

     She had been expecting something like that, but Pearl was still caught off guard, enough that she couldn't manage to continue denying it. Instead, all that came out was "Thanks," her voice abnormally small.

     They both finished their breakfasts in a tense silence. Marina watched Pearl carefully, barely keeping an eye on her food. She couldn't pull her conflicted expression from her face and she couldn't push the uncertainty from her thoughts. Pearl had a habit of trying to hide her vulnerability, but never this adamantly, and Marina found herself struggling to work up the strength to pry. At the same time, she didn't feel right ignoring it and leaving Pearl alone for the day in her turmoil - but what choice did she have?

     She wanted to think she had some. Her first impulse was to stay for as long as it took and talk it out, let the studio figure out announcements by themselves. But she had no idea what would happen to her and to Pearl if she just skipped, when she had already agreed to come, on a day where _no one else_ was available. As much as she prioritized her relationship, it would be too risky, and she cursed the terrible luck that had made this come up today of all days.

     Pearl, meanwhile, couldn't bring herself to look up from her plate. She couldn't focus on eating, but she couldn't think either - her brain felt busy but also empty, flushed out with adrenaline. When her head wasn't swimming in stressed static, it was looping with one thought ( _I messed up, I messed up_ _ _big, I REALLY messed up-__ ), or burning with awareness of Marina's obvious internal conflict. She hated that she had caused her girlfriend to worry for her, and she especially hated the cause - she had no right, she told herself, to seek sympathy over her own failures.

     Marina still had to leave, though. She stood up a few minutes after they had finished, lifting her empty plate and glass in the same motion. "I..."

     Pearl understood what she wanted to say - she hadn't put the kind of intense mental deliberation into it Marina had, but she still knew she would have to go in, no matter how much Pearl had worried her. "Yeah, I get it." She kept her eyes on her own plate, also long bare, and listened Marina lifting her dishes. "I can get those," she offered, pulling her eyes up to glance to her girlfriend.

     Marina was still looking down at her with that conflicted expression. She looked like she was almost in pain - her face was twisted in discomfort and her body language suggested preemptive regret. Pearl's hearts were run through with a quick shock of guilt, and she searched the outer corners of her mind for something she could do to ease Marina's obvious trouble.

     She came up empty and only managed to break eye contact, before picking up the dishes in silence. She turned and walked to the sink, and Marina went to put on her coat and grab her bag.

     The water was running and Pearl was rinsing one of the plates when Marina spoke up, more than soft enough to be masked by the spray of the faucet, yet clearly heard regardless. "Pearl..." The inkling had to struggle to draw her gaze away from the sink and towards Marina.

     "Yeah?" Too squeaky. Pearl wished she had masked her emotion better. _I can't believe I'd manipulate her like_ _ _this. I shouldn't be making her feel sorry for me.__

     Somehow, Marina had already crossed the distance between them, standing an arm's length from Pearl by the sink. Her arms were open in invitation and as soon as she noticed the gesture Pearl had fallen in without a second thought. She melted into Marina as she always did, but froze when she felt the slight tension in the octoling's body. She remembered herself, what she had done to end up in that embrace. Her muscles stiffened and her head pounded - _I don't deserve this, I'm not supposed to feel safe right now, I'm not good enough for -_

     Her thoughts were splashed aside when Marina squeezed her gently. "Pearlie." Her voice was quiet, but had a deliberate quality of reassurance to it. "I love you."

     Pearl's legs felt weak, and her body trembled. Her insides swirled briefly from emotion, and she only barely kept silent as she leaned forward into her girlfriend. She was long past the point she could hope to pretend everything was fine - as much as she hated to make Marina worry about her, it didn't even occur to her anymore to try to keep ignoring the stress. Still, she managed some composure - she got her breath steady enough to give a croaky "Thanks" before pulling back.

     She didn't want to pull back. She knew she had to, but separating from her girlfriend was the last thing Pearl wished for, and for a moment she didn't even care about the project. She couldn't leave Marina's side, she couldn't - she was sick of spending the days in the apartment on a project she couldn't seem to start. She was sick of exploiting Marina's obligations to the job. She was sick of being alone with her thoughts, and she was sick of the way she couldn't find the discipline to act on anything. She could have screamed at the frustration, the exhaustion, the overpowering need to stay away from that song project - but it wasn't an option.

     If she gave up, she would be giving up Marina. The implications thundered in her head and pushed away any hint of an impulse to give in. If she didn't say least try, if she couldn't put in today's honest effort, she didn't know how she would justify having thought she loved Marina. Every day, they affection strengthened and pulsed - some days, she could hardly have a thought that wasn't Marina. But she couldn't prove it, even to herself - how could she claim to love her without actions to back it up?

     A girlfriend who couldn't show her love, Pearl stubbornly reminded herself, was barely a partner at all. A girlfriend who didn't even try - who spent three days slacking off and was nearly driven to tears by the thought of making an effort - Pearl couldn't fathom the kind of failure such a girlfriend would be. Such a failure _she_ would be. She fought every instinct stabbing through her mind and her hearts, and pulled herself out of the hug.

     "Thanks. I love you too." It didn't even hurt that bad.

     Marina hesitated, and Pearl attacked with unrestrained loathing at the part of her that felt hopeful at that - the traitorous, heartless part that believed Marina might change her mind and stay, forget their jobs and forget that terrible project.

     She couldn't believe any part of her could be so selfish.

     "I'll text," Marina promised, tone soft and concerned. Pearl strained for a smile and gave a thumbs up.

     "Got it." By themselves, her eyes flicked to the door and back. "I appreciate that," she added, quieter.

       There was a kiss on her forehead and a handful of steps, and then Marina was gone. Her bag, her coat, and an unnameable part of Pearl's psyche went with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another split chapter too, just FYI. It was originally Chapter 4, now it's Chapter 5 and Chapter 6 - I'm lucky you peeps can't see the naming scheme I'm using in my documents, because it's getting to be a bit of a mess in there.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed!!! ❤ I'd just love to hear what you thought in the reviews, if you can spare the time, getting one always makes my day. If anyone around here's been enjoying the story and hasn't done so yet, Kudos are also lovely. Thanks for reading!


	6. This One Used To Be Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marina knows something is wrong, but she has no choice but to leave for the day. This is Pearl's real, actual, legit-this-time last chance. Can she overcome her own fears to make the gift, or is it too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's still following the story, I appreciate it a lot! With Pearlina week going on I was a little worried this week but I did end up having easily enough time to prepare this chapter for uploading, since I wrote almost all of my Day 4 fic yesterday.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

     Once Marina was gone, Pearl hesitantly turned her attention back towards washing the plates. It took longer than usual - she kept losing track of her task, only remembering to keep rinsing plates when her idle hands started stinging from the dishwater. She _really_ needed to stop zoning out under faucets.

     Her hands were raw and clammy from water exposure by the time she had gotten through everything and loaded it all into the washer. Thoughts quiet, she pressed her hands tightly against her shirt to soothe their sharp tingling, turning away from the sink. There was work that needed to be done, and she couldn't afford to delay. This was her final chance.

     She didn't remember the walk, but all of a sudden she was sitting at the desk, pencil in hand, fresh sheet of paper laid in front of her. Ready for notes, for words. Waiting for her.

     Pearl still couldn't start. Her thoughts were still disorganized and lost, too stuck in her head to divert themselves into her project. She pushed everything from her mind and took a deep breath - unexpectedly difficult - before releasing it slowly. She needed to write a song - that was doable, she did that all the time. She sketched a simple staff on the sheet. It needed to be about Marina - that also shouldn't be too hard. She pulled her focus towards thoughts of her girlfriend, looking for something she could possibly put into music.

     There was still a worm of anxiety in the back of her head, but she didn't put a name to it. If she could ignore it, she had a shot at getting her ideas flowing. To this end, she kept thinking, piecing together how she could funnel her relationship into a song.

     Her natural impulse was to create a rap. The first thing her brain wanted to do was figure out a beat and a rhyming scheme to follow, but she didn't want to follow such a specialized approach. Her focus from the start had been on a melodic piece, something she could sing: she knew Marina would appreciate that the most. And the most important thing was to make sure Marina would be happy.

     She had been derailed. She felt it the moment she had hit that thought - the necessity of making sure Marina would like it - and sure enough, she couldn't draw her mind off of it as it began looping through her head. She needed to please Marina with this. _Needed._ She had to write a song because she had to make sure Marina would like it, because if she didn't try hard enough Marina could be disappointed and if Marina was disappointed she wouldn't like it and she wouldn't be happy with Pearl and she wouldn't ever-

     Pearl took a shuddering gasp of air and blinked harshly. Without her even noticing, her breathing had turned ragged and her eyes had begun burning with the precursor to tears. She knew she couldn't afford this - even through her blurry vision, the empty paper before her screamed silently with the importance of her project. Still, she pushed back against her chair and rubbed at her eyes, shaking bodily and breathing erratically, struggling to control herself.

     _I don't have time for this._ She pulled her feet up onto the seat to tuck her knees to her chest, covering her eyes. _I don't have time to do this anymore, I_ _ _need to__ _ _ _finish!___ The urgency of her task still wasn't enough to stop her mind, vibrating and shuddering with thoughts on everything but the project. She couldn't even pull her hands from her eyes to see the paper or pick up the pencil, wherever it had ended up.

     _I..._ Her breath came in a hiccup and she turned sideways in the chair, curling into herself. _I can't handle it,_ she thought. _I can't handle it, I'm an awful girlfriend, I can't even_ _ _write one__ _ _ _word.___ She stuck out a hand and pushed against the desk, sliding away - she wanted nothing more in that moment to get away from that paper, the product of her failures. The intensity of the movement nearly tipped her over, but instead only sent her sliding a few feet from Marina's desk. _I failed you, I'm sorry, I'm so horrible, I'm so sorry..._

     She didn't know when her breaths broke into sobs and she didn't know how long she continued until she ran out of tears. What she knew was that she had sat hunched in the same position for at least an hour before her phone vibrated noisily, sitting face-down on the desk where it had been forgotten. The sound startled Pearl from the trance she had found herself in, staring into space and sniffling, and she picked up the phone on reflex. Marina had texted her, and, she discovered, she also seemed to have a handful of missed notifications from the group chat app. They were all from Marie.

     Pearl wasn't sure she could handle communicating with Marina - the thought sent fresh waves of guilt through her whole body, coiling her muscles involuntarily like an electrical current - so she first opened Marie's messages.

Agent 2 > Marina's probably at the studio now, yeah? Did she leave this morning?  
Agent 2 > Callie and I had to call in a lot of favors to make sure nobody else would go in today.  
Agent 2 > How is your gift going now, anyways? Callie has gotten invested in this now that I've told her what's going on. Hope you're alright with that, there was no other way to get her on board.

     The last message had been sent just under ten minutes ago. Pearl contemplated a response for a long moment before typing.

MC.Princess > Going pretty well, thanks

     That would have to do. She didn't _want_ to lie, but she couldn't even consider admitting her situation.

     Of course, she knew it wasn't any use. The smidge of fear she had felt before had long since taken over her brain, and she knew with a dreadful, unbearable certainty she didn't have a chance of finishing the song. The next day, when Marina would find out, she knew she would be done for. Pearl knew she would be mad - her girlfriend didn't usually get angry, but if there was anything she was sure if it was that this was easily a monumental enough failure to be an exception. She was sure that things wouldn't be the same between them, and despite the painful coil that appeared in her stomach when she thought about it, she had to acknowledge the possibility Marina would outright break up with her. There would be no hiding that kind of change from the public, especially if Marina was vocal about what had happened - they hadn't even gone public on their relationship yet, but Pearl didn't think she could even blame her if Marina talked to the press about how awful a girlfriend Pearl had been. She could barely imagine the headlines that could come of her failures if they became public knowledge, and trying only made her eyes sting as they tried to force tears that had long since run empty.

     But the thing was, no matter what she said _now,_ the Squid Sisters would almost definitely know _exactly_ how badly Pearl had messed up. Anyone paying attention would be able to tell Pearl had done something wrong, and with the information Callie and Marie had they would know better than anyone. They would know that Pearl had lied to them and wasted their time - another mistake to add to her list. Her stomach churned with guilt, but she couldn't bring herself to tell the truth.

     Marina's text was next, and Pearl's finger missed its mark an embarrassing number of times as she tried to navigate into her contacts list. She knew she shouldn't be anxious - Marina had said she'd text, she was probably just asking how Pearl was doing. But she didn't know how she could answer that, and even still she couldn't stop envisioning worst-case scenarios. She imagined if she opened the message and found that Marina had somehow learned about the project, and her stomach coiled. She considered the possibility Marina had found out and been so upset she had sent a message to break up, and her hearts trembled. She tried to predict what it would look like if Marina had found out and been _angry_ instead - tried to piece together the mental image of all the hateful things she had been telling herself, shrunk into the blue messenger boxes and attached to her girlfriend's number. She missed the contact button again in the sudden stress that followed.

←[♥ Marina ♥] Hey babe, I'm at the studio. First announcements of the morning are about to come on. I hope you're feeling better, I love you ❤

     Her heartbeats calmed and she took a slow breath. She had known the message would be something like this - how had she gotten so worked up about it? She willed her thumbs to stop shaking and ignored the tingle of fear that lingered behind the relief, mentally scolding herself for so getting out of control. She was usually so much better than this at managing her worries.

     Pearl typed out a response.

→[You] Thanks, love you too ❤

     It didn't feel like a lie, not at all, but Pearl felt dishonest nonetheless. For all the intensity with which she felt for Marina, for as much as she wanted to make Marina happy however she could, for all the things she appreciated and admired about her girlfriend - she still didn't feel like she had the right to say it was love, with the way she had been acting.

     _If I really loved her, I'd have made something for her._ She forced her gaze away from the screen. Not back to the paper, she wasn't ready to confront it; she turned to the doorway, fixing her eyes on the corner of the television she could see through the open door to the living room. _Someone who loves their partner doesn't put_ _ _off a Valentine's gift until it's too late.__ A tendril of anger wrapped around her spine, coated in a film of poorly disguised grief. _If I_ _ _really__ __love Marina__ _ _ _,___ ___I___ _ _would__ _ _ _have___ _ _ _ _done this____ _ _a long time__ _ _ _ago___ _ _,__ she thought, bitterly. After a moment of consideration, she kicked off from the chair, standing up and walking to the living room. Forget the paper. Forget Valentine's. _I can't believe_ _ _I__ _thought this was a good idea._ She wanted to kick something, but there was nothing in kicking range. She instead satisfied the impulse with a swift stomp to the floor, squeezing her hands into fists. _I should've known I'd mess it up. I should've known I'd never make Marina happy anyways._ Her eyes stung again and she screwed them shut, glaring blindly as she continued walking.

     Her stalking had brought her to the couch. She spun around to face away and allowed herself to fall gracelessly backwards into it, flopping with a heavy thump that left half of her hanging off the side of the cushion.

     She felt like curling up into herself again, but her arms and legs felt like lead, with little more than a quiver when she considered drawing them around her body. Instead, Pearl took the next best option and shifted to squid form, leaving her laying eyes-down on the couch. It felt barely any better than before, but at least her whole body was on the seat now.

     It was almost relaxing, laying there in silence - the only hint something was wrong was her body's near-imperceptible trembling and the sense of shame barely contained in the back of her mind. She wasn't over what she had done yet. _I'm such a useless, awful_ _ _partner__ _. Marina will be better off once she's left me, anyways._

 _She'll find someone who can make_ _ _things for her like a real partner. Someone who - who's not like me, who can sing and write and love her...__ Her whole body shook painfully, betraying what her eyes couldn't. _It won't even be hard,_ _ _she could pick anyone and they'd be better than me.__ Her hearts ached and her eyes, held shut and pressed against the fabric cushioning, began to water again. _Good,_ she thought. _I don't deserve to_ _ _feel okay now. I've betrayed Marina and taken advantage of everyone's help.__

     A barely-stifled cry escaped her for only a moment before she swallowed it back down. She squashed her mantle forward against the seat of the couch to fight the wails that tried to squeeze out her throat - with some straining, though, she kept silent.

     _I- I deserve this-,_ she tried to remind herself through the pain. _This is how it's supposed to be when you're this kind of person._ She could barely focus - her mind was reeling, pushing her to shift back to humanoid form and move, to find some sort of distraction from her emotions - but she fought it. _I shouldn't- I don't get to distract myself, I'm not happy,_ _ _I'm not supposed to be happy when__ _ _ _I've-___ _I'm-_

     Her thoughts jumbled into incoherence with the effort to control herself. _I'm not good enough,_ she thought, hastily. _I_ _ _haven't- It's my fault and I have...__ She could barely think. _I have to... I'm..._

     Pearl's tentacles were scrunched up close to her body and her mantle was still squashed harshly into the seat. Her eyes were pinched tight, but leaking profusely, and her whole form was shaking and sweating. If she were in humanoid form she would no doubt be hyperventilating, but instead the surface of her only rippled with the effort of taking in all the oxygen her body demanded. She couldn't handle this anymore.

     Without any concious decision, she was in her humanoid shape again, with a death grip on the TV remote - previously sitting on a table by the side of the couch, just within reach. The plastic squeaked quietly in protest of her white-knuckled hold, but she didn't notice. Before even considering what she was doing, she hit the power button with far more force than was required and turned towards the screen. Whatever was showing, it could distract her - anything could, really - and she focused her attention on the television as it fuzzed to life.

     It was one of the Inksports programs, displaying a live feed of some League match. Despite their jobs as announcers for every class of the competitions, she and Marina had never gotten too into the League match scene - that was where the big names with the high-level technique played, the kinds of matches that appealed more to the hardcore fans of the sports. Still, she didn't have to know exactly what was going on to accept it. What she needed wasn't entertainment, only distraction.

     It looked like the game was Rainmaker, one of Pearl's favorites, partially for its straightforwardness. Still, she wasn't surprised at how quickly things started going over her head - the players were applying techniques Pearl couldn't quite follow, and the commentators used just enough technical jargon to keep her lost. No matter the complexity, though, Rainmaker was still only Rainmaker - after she had started tuning out the live commentary and stopped trying to figure out the players' strategies, she was mostly able to follow the back-and-forth pushing that made for the game's defining trait. There was a balance between trying to follow the whole game and just knowing where the Rainmaker was, and once she found it she was able to distract herself without letting her mind wander again.

     She found herself in a light sort of trance, watching the players on the TV and letting the complexities flow over her head. Pearl wasn't usually the type to watch a channel she didn't understand, and it was an odd feeling - but not an unwelcome one given the circumstances. She was almost entirely zoned out, but safe from the anxieties that came with letting her mind wander. A part of her was still not on board - she held deep inside a quiet feeling that she shouldn't be doing this - but she was able to ignore it, and for a time she felt _almost_ okay.

     So it took her completely off guard when two hours had passed and Marina showed up on screen. Pearl stiffened in surprise and her eyes widened at the unexpected sight of her girlfriend, sitting alone in frame. The shot was zoomed in around her booth, leaving Pearl's chair off-camera.

     On the screen, Marina gave a smile and a wave. "Y'all know what it's time for. Marina from Off the Hook here, coming to you live from Inkopolis Square!"

     It sounded natural, and while normally Pearl would expect that - Marina was an excellent announcer, she almost always sounded natural, and this wasn't even the first time today she had had to do this - Pearl was already feeling fragile from before. The realization struck to her core and she physically recoiled into the couch cushions.

     _She's happier without_ _ _me,__ said her thoughts. "Here are the Regular Battle stages for this rotation," said TV Marina. Two stages flashed up on the screen, but Pearl didn't identify them. _I knew it. I knew she'd be fine without me around._ "Keeping track of the platforms in the center can be tricky, but if you know where they are when you need them they can be a great advantage."

       _Why does it have to hurt so much?_ "And here's the current Ranked rotation." _It should be a good thing. She'll be okay after this is all over with,_ _ _if- when-...__ Two more images came and went. _When she finds out and decides_ _ _to find a better partner. Like there was any doubt.__ "This stage is pretty small, so you'll want to make sure you're either well equipped to deal with ambushes, and keep a close eye on your team." _It's not like_ _ _I should WANT__ _ _ _her to be upset...___ She couldn't come to an explanation for herself.

     "And last, these will be the next two League stages." _I shouldn't be_ _ _hurt by this__ _._ Pearl focused her eyes down at the floor, missing the order display. She didn't notice, nor did she notice the tip that Marina gave afterwards. She was having a hard time noticing anything - her vision went distant and she was suddenly struggling to think solid thoughts. Her head only swam with vague feelings - shame, regret, a touch of anger, the notion that she wasn't enough. She could only barely hear Marina giving their sign-off (alone, of course - and sounding all the better for it) over the rush of emotions. She hunched over on the seat and pinched her expression tight, blocking out whatever commercial had started playing.

     It took some time before Pearl could think clearly, and some more before she was willing to move from her position. As soon as she was ready, the first thing she did was shut off the television - she didn't think she could endure seeing Marina again. The guilt was eating her alive. Eventually, the octoling would get home, and Pearl would be seeing her face-to-face. She didn't know how she would cope with that, but the thought of avoiding her put a heavy pit in her stomach. She had no idea what would happen when the time came.

     So she ignored it. Pearl knew she would end up regretting it when Marina _did_ come home and she wasn't emotionally prepared, but trying to think about it made her tremble with anxiety. Ignoring her problems was irresponsible - but, Pearl considered, it seemed to be all she could do. Irresponsible was simply the best she could be.

     Instead, she forced her mind to wander elsewhere. She pushed her gaze left and right, away from the television, looking for something to focus on. It wasn't working. Nothing seemed interesting, and her thoughts were still gravitating towards Marina. It made her feel ashamed, it made her feel like garbage - she wasn't enough, and she couldn't even confront it. Everyone had their shortcomings, but Pearl didn't think hers could be forgiven. She certainly couldn't forgive herself, and and couldn't even imagine Marina would.

     But she didn't want to think about that. She didn't want to think about how Marina would probably feel when she found out Pearl had spent days sitting around instead of putting something together for Valentine's Day, or what she would do in response. She didn't want to consider the harsh words that might follow, or to try and picture Marina leaving the apartment in a hurry and not even coming back for her belongings, or to try and imagine her gentle and quiet girlfriend shouting her down for her neglect. She didn't want to work herself into another spiral of dread. But she couldn't find a distraction, and without a distraction Pearl couldn't stop herself.

     She curled up and leaned into the side of the couch as her head filled with predictions. She thought about Marina leaving her behind, getting used to living by herself again, going without the hugs and kisses, the affectionate words and gentle touches that she had gotten used to. An aching hollowness took hold in her chest and she curled up tighter to try and squeeze it out.

     She thought about Marina telling her off. She imagined her own anger, phrased in Marina's voice - _You're_ _awful, you're_ _ _ _self-centered, the worst girlfriend in the world___ \- tried to imagine what it would be like to hear from Marina's own mouth that she hated her - and her hearts seized, all at once, shot through with icey pain. Her breath caught and she curled herself even tighter in reflex.

     She tried again, but ramped it up. She put the words into a shout, strung them together in the kind of rage she had only heard from Marina maybe once or twice, and never at her. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to envision it, her girlfriend looming over her and spilling over with righteous anger, her words crashing over Pearl's head like armfuls of bricks. Her body filled with the searing hot ringing of terror, and she cowered as if the image were real, curling up even tighter still.

     She thought about how she deserved it all. It was the only thing that was clear even though the sheet of panic, that she had brought this upon herself, that she had had it coming. The multiple days she had known what could happen and not cared, and what that revealed about her real priorities. She thought about that same day, how she had manipulated another opportunity out of Callie, Marie, and Marina only to throw it away to be a crybaby, and was filled with a shame that cut to the bone and only reinforced her loathing for herself.

     The only thing that kept her eyes dry was the lingering effects of her earlier breakdowns. Completely deprived of tears, her eyes only ached harshly, no matter how tightly she closed them. The feeling spread through her body as her muscles continued to tremble, even through their growing fatigue. It grew to be enough that Pearl couldn't ignore it, but she merely threw the pain onto the pile of things s  
she deserved for her faults. Shame, loneliness, whatever Marina would do to her, fear - a little bit of physical pain was no big deal anymore. She had earned everything that was coming for her.

     She lost almost two hours like that, curled up as small as possible up against the arm of the sofa, sitting through her pain and hating herself. It only occurred to her how long it had been after she came out of it, when her phone buzzed and before she even thought about checking it she was reading the time. _Huh._

     A moment later, she swiped across the screen to get into the message.

←[♥ Marina ♥] Just finished on the second rotation announcement of the day. Is it okay if I keep checking up on you like this? I know you don't like talking feelings over texts but I'm worried about you.

     Pearl was still thinking about the message when she noticed her fingers gliding across the phone, typing out a response without her own concious intent. Her eyes widened and she watched in shock as her hands seemed to move on their own accord. _I'm not doing that?_ , she thought, feeling detached. Her thump tapped on the Send key.

→[You] You can do w/e, I don't mind. I'm doing good

     Her right hand thumbed the button to turn the screen off before her arms set the phone down. She could again only notice a kind of detached surprise as she watched it happen. Her former emotional pain had evaporated into numbness, only challenged by that foreign sensation that she wasn't in control of her own body. Her phone buzzed against the table again, and she felt a distant curiosity, but instead of checking it again she found draped itself back over the couch, laying down on her back.

     The arrangement felt wrong, as if she wasn't properly lying in her body. Even the ache in her limbs and her eyes had taken on a faded quality, as if they were only vaguely a part of her. She was terribly thirsty, but could barely feel it. The strongest sensation in her body was a bone-deep exhaustion, the only thing that felt normal through the haze. Her position on the sofa proved convenient to this end and within mere moments, Pearl's confusion had dissipated and she drifted out into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, the good news: this is the last chapter that I had to split in half, so you I can't just use that "This One Used To Be Chapter..." joke as a low-effort title again.  
> The bad news: Pearl ain't doing so hot, y'all
> 
> Also, a note - what was going on with her at the very end of the chapter was my attempt at writing dissociation. I've experienced that type of dissociation just once, for about 5 consecutive seconds, and it wasn't even due to stress. So if you know more about this than me and I portrayed something incorrectly or otherwise messed it up, please call me out on it!!! Thanks!
> 
> (as always i'd love to hear what you thought of this chapter in the reviews. leaving kudos is also really nice if you want to and haven't done so yet. thank you! ❤)


	7. This One's Thirteen Days Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her last chance has come and gone. To Pearl, utter catastrophe seems imminent. How will she cope with her anxieties?  
> Alternatively titled: Pearl's Mental Health Takes Another Nosedive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha, ha, uh. great chapter title, right?  
> ... yeah, I'm really sorry it's so late. I hope I haven't kept anyone waiting for too long.
> 
> Since it's probably been a long time since you've read from this fic, it might be worth reading through maybe the last couple paragraphs of the previous chapter, if you want to. Might help refresh the memory a bit on what's been going on - that's what I do when I'm having trouble remembering what was happening in a fic when it updates.

     "Pearlie?"

     She was woken up by the instantly recognizable voice of Marina. Before she even knew where she was, Pearl was aware of her girlfriend's presence, granting her a moment's calm. Before even another second had passed, however, an observation had come upon her, and her comfort evaporated.

     Marina sounded worried.

     She didn't know why - her head still felt strange, and she was far groggier than she usually was when she was woken up. She could only barely identify the tone as concern, but already she was internally scrambling to figure out what was causing the problem.

     "Are you awake?"

     Pearl's eyes felt dry and sore - most of her did, actually - but she forced them open to try and alleviate the worry she could hear in Marina's voice. It took a moment before her vision focused, earning her a clear view of her girlfriend's face. That was definitely concern on her face, but Pearl couldn't think clearly enough to figure out why. The only words that could cut through the fog in her head were a simple greeting. "Hey, babe."

     Her voice was far raspier than it should have been, and Marina noticed immediately. "Cod, Pearl, you sound awful! Are you alright?"

     The smaller girl cleared her throat, to little use. Her voice was still dry when she answered. "Yeah. Crazy thirsty though." Marina nodded and stood up, but didn't leave. She had one of Pearl's hands clasped between her own, held tight in a nervous grip. The inkling gave a gentle squeeze to try and reassure the girl standing over her.

     "Right... I can go get you some water, then. I'll be quick, just stay here for me." Pearl only had time to nod before Marina was out of the room in a flash, disappearing towards the kitchen. Pearl shifted on the couch until she could sit up.

     She felt pretty awful, physically, and didn't quite feel herself mentally either. Her thoughts were coming in slow and disorganized jumbles. Her memory of the past few days was foggy at best, if not outright missing, but she couldn't tell if she had forgotten or just couldn't manage the focus to try and recall. Trying too hard to order her thoughts left her dizzy and lost. The most she could process, at the moment, was a bone-deep thirst and an even more all-encompassing need to reassure her visibly worried girlfriend.

     As quickly as she had left, Marina returned holding a glass of water. She handed it over to Pearl with a small smile, but it quickly faded - the squid was only staring listlessly into the glass. Just how out of it _was_ she? What had happened to her Pearlie? After a moment's delay, Marina gently nudged the cup upward, relieved when Pearl was at least able to take it the rest of the way to her head and start drinking on her own.

     After the glass had been emptied, only a matter of seconds later, Pearl felt some fraction of a degree better. A fog still hung over her mind, obscuring her thoughts with confused, tired haze, but her throat didn't hurt anymore, and her body was already less sore. There were still waves of anxiety rolling off of Marina, though, so she spoke. "Thanks, 'Rina. I'm feeling fine now."

     It was more or less a lie, and Marina could tell. Still, she wanted to take what she could get - Pearl's voice was clear of the rasp it had had before, and she had lost a bit of the dazed look that had hung over her since waking up. She took one of Pearl's hands again and allowed herself to worry a little less, sitting down next to her on the couch. "That's good to hear. Um, do you want to tell me what's been going on..?" Her girlfriend's expression scrunched in focus at the question.

     "I..." Pearl started, trailing off. She furrowed her brows and focused, trying to fight through the confusion. She remembered now that something had been wrong, terribly wrong, but for the life of her she couldn't put together what it had been. Some kind of deadline? "I can't remember." Another detail appeared in the haze, and she voiced it. "I think I was crying."

     "Oh, Pearlie," Marina said, distressed. She rubbed a thumb against the back of the small hand held between her own. "But you don't know why?" Her girlfriend nodded, still looking puzzled. "That's not good, Pearl."

     The smaller girl only shrugged in response, still searching. She _knew_ something had happened, and now that she was on the trail she didn't want to leave it. There was a sense of urgency pursuing her, she needed to figure this out as soon as she could. But it wasn't-

     She found it.

     Something in her posture must have changed to give it away, because Marina seemed to be aware immediately. "You've got it?" Her tone was hopeful. Pearl nodded silently. "Can you tell me about it? I don't know what's going on, but I want to help with whatever's bothering you, Pearlie."

     She couldn't. She had remembered what had been stressing her out, what had been going on over the past few days, the cause of her recent breakdowns. But while the blindfold had been lifted from her memory, something still wasn't right - she felt distant, separated from herself, and she couldn't even react to what she had uncovered. All she felt was a numb recognition and a vague dread, nothing like what had driven her into the panics she could suddenly recall. She knew how much trouble she would be in when Marina found out, but she the terror that had been gripping her before was suspiciously absent. She could only shake her head and answer, "I don't think I can right now."

     Marina tried not to let it show, but Pearl could tell that the answer had scared her. "... Alright. But, when you're able, I would appreciate if you could tell me..." Pearl gave a blank nod in response, which satisfied Marina at least a little bit. Pearl regretted knowing what she had done - it hurt to think about how she had betrayed Marina, especially now when she was being so kind to her. But it was a peculiar, detached sort of guilt, rather than the angry and hateful type that had haunted her before, scalded her and built up unbearable pressure. Her hearts felt hollow.

     "Thank you," said Marina, quietly and gratefully, too grateful for someone who had been offering to help. She put an arm around Pearl's shoulders and held her close. In reflexive reaction, Pearl leaned back into Marina's side, but she was immediately ashamed - it didn't seem right to receive such attention from her girlfriend, with how she had failed her. But the rush of anger or fear or regret she was expecting didn't come - instead, the rift in her hearts tore imperceptibly wider. Even Marina's presence up against her, usually one of the most consistent comforts in Pearl's life, couldn't escape the aching gap. Right in her girlfriend's arms, Pearl felt hundreds of miles away.

     Still, she stayed in place for the time being, leaning into Marina's hold. It was futile, but she had no reason to move. They both lapsed into silence for a time, Marina rubbing a hand on Pearl's head and Pearl listening to the slow trickle of her own thoughts, ever-increasingly lost. It was Marina who broke the silence, unaware of her girlfriend's inner turmoil.

     "So... Do you want to do something together tonight? It's not very late yet, there's at least a couple hours until bedtime. Nothing intense, just maybe a movie or something?"

     "A movie sounds good," Pearl supplied. "I'm down with anything." Marina, clearly glad to have something to do together, nodded thoughtfully.

     In the end, Marina selected a documentary special about pre-mollusc-era amphibians. Pearl would ordinarily have trouble sitting through a film with so little action, but was instead near motionless through the whole first half, before they paused to have dinner.

     She had tried to pay attention, but for the most part the information had gone in one ear and out the other. Focusing had always been far from her strong suit, but she wasn't normally so distracted - when they sat down at the table halfway through, it occurred to Pearl she couldn't remember almost anything from the movie. More quiet shame pooled in a distant part of her stomach at yet another failure. She tried to follow along as Marina discussed what she had heard. Before too long, at least, they were both finished eating and back at the television. Pearl sat back into Marina's embrace - still no relief, only the sensation of falling further and further away from herself. She tried to pay better attention to the documentary.

     When the film ended for real, another hour and a half later, Pearl turned up blank yet again. Marina made some comment on ancient frogs and Pearl realized she was lost. Rather than admit her confusion, she swallowed another failure and tried to give neutral responses.

     "I just wish that... Pearlie?" The inkling's eyes snapped up towards Marina. Had she been figured out? Her hearts pounded, and her hands were shaking, but she could only feel the sort of far-away despair she had been sinking towards. She looked away to try and brace for Marina's frustration about her lapse in attention.

     "You seem tired. Do you want to call it an early night?"

     That had caught her off guard. Her cause for alarm was gone, but her heartbeats remained elevated and Pearl felt a sway of discomfort. She had been close to being figured out - it hadn't even been about the Valentine's gift, only a movie, and she could barely control her reaction. As detached from herself as she felt, she couldn't ignore such a dramatic anxiety, and she was suddenly concerned about how it would go when her _real_ mistake was revealed.

     "Pearl?"

     The inkling's focused up towards the octoling again. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think so." She _was_ pretty tired, actually.

     "It's been a long day for you. Let's go, then." Marina flashed a small smile and stood up, gesturing for Pearl to come with her. As Pearl stood to follow, Marina shut off the television, before turning around to-

     "Eep!" Pearl's legs kicked in the air underneath her for only a moment as Marina scooped her up in an unexpected lift. She blushed from the closeness and unexpectedness, instinctively wrapping her arms around the back of Marina's neck for stability.

     And then a coarse wave of anxiety washed over her.

     Her startled noise had been genuine, and so had been the ensuing blush. Suddenly, she didn't feel so far from her feelings - she was picked up in an armful of surprise, of affection, of warmth, and suddenly her emotions and her senses were right on top of her.

     The rift in her heart had been uncomfortable, but only once it had been burnt away by Marina's warmth did she miss it. The one shield that sat between her and the terrors that had plagued her the previous couple days had dissolved - she realized now, with an unmistakeable clarity, that the only thing that had been keeping her away from another breakdown since waking up had been that emotional distance, and now she was without it.

     Pearl's sudden silence and the intense rush of pink to her face was misinterpreted by Marina as only embarrassment, and she took the opportunity as one for gentle teasing. "Aw, babe, you don't have to be embarrassed, it's cute when you squeak like that."

     Pearl was caught in a rush, buried in the feelings that had been being kept at arm's length for too long. Washed over by waves of mixed surprise, fear, affection - she couldn't even scramble to make a comeback, to brush it off like she normally would. Without the capacity to respond otherwise, she only buried her face into Marina's shoulder, face deep pink and eyes tearing up. Marina, still unaware, only gave a slight chuckle in response, responding with a touch of embarrassment herself. "Sorry, I guess it really _has_ been a long day...". After another moment's delay she began walking, carrying Pearl to the bedroom.

     Pearl was set down at the foot of the bed while Marina stepped to the closet to change into her sleepwear, tossing Pearl a set of her own as well. The older girl sat motionless on the end of the mattress, face still flushed bright with ink, expression unreadable. She was even more confused than she had been before, stuck in a spell of conflicting emotions with no barrier left to hold them away. She ignored the nightgown Marina had tossed her, lost in the effort of processing the storm of feelings. After a minute spent staring at the floor, muscle memory kicked in and lead Pearl through removing her old clothing and putting on the new set. The motions, as simple as they were, were at least sufficient to clear her head, and by the time she was fully robed she was able to think again.

     Once they were both dressed, Marina walked to the bed Pearl had stayed sitting on. Before her girlfriend's curious watch, she lifted the blankets and slid under them herself, holding them open while she gestured for Pearl to join her. Pearl tilted her head in confusion and afforded a quick glance to their clock. "Wait, isn't it way earlier than you go to bed?"

     Marina shrugged, dismissing the question with a soft smile. "Well, sure, but I want to be with you right now. And I'm kind of tired too, it was hard giving announcements without you." Pearl blushed lightly again, while Marina leaned back with a quiet yawn. "You're coming, right?"

     The question spurred the inkling to action, allowing her to drop her embarrassment and shuffle under the blankets. Marina opened her arms and Pearl slipped into them with practiced ease, tucking her head under her chin. Both of them closed their eyes in sync, leaning into each other subconsciously.

     Marina, true to her earlier statement, was unusually tired. Her breathing slowed down and the typical organized flow of activity in her head reduced to a trickle as she approached sleep. She hadn't been expecting it to come so fast, considering she would normally be going to bed at least two hours later than this, but it wasn't long before she began to idle in a state halfway between awake and asleep.

     Unknown to her, the girl in her arms couldn't find the same luxury. Pearl kept her eyes shut and remained still, but despite her earlier exhaustion her mind remained active and swarming with thoughts. It wasn't too rare for her to have trouble shutting off her brain - she had had the occasional tricky night for almost as long as she could remember, where she just couldn't stop thinking, and it was frequent enough that Marina even knew about them. Her girlfriend had always tried her best to help, but even then it was still just something she had to accept on the occasional night.

     But this wasn't like those nights. She wasn't stuck with a random song looping in her head, or distracted by thoughts of something dumb she had seen on TV. Rather than the chaotic tessellation of thoughts that would usually fill her mind when sleep was evading her, Pearl was kept awake by a harsh, conflicting flurry of emotion. She always dealt with these nights by just riding out the wave until exhaustion overpowered hyperactivity, but the thought of spending a whole night wading through the painful, confusing windstorm that filled her head was too much to bear. And she couldn't even complain to Marina without explaining what was wrong in the first place, a secret she intended to keep until the very last second.

     Trying to hide her mistake from her girlfriend was a fool's errand, she knew, but Pearl committed to it anyways. She could hardly imagine the pain that would come when Marina, the most important person in her life, would find out how badly she had messed up. There was no other choice but to delay it.

     Which meant, no matter what, she couldn't tell Marina what was going on. She couldn't vent about the stress and fear that had been eating her alive, she couldn't try and talk through the dense mixture of emotions she had been struggling with, and she couldn't even whine about being tired.

     She waited in silence. Dwelling on her situation did nothing to sort out her cocktail of feeling, nor did just laying in place and trying to ignore her thoughts. She tried to stop and listen to Marina's breathing, to feel her hearts beating inside her, but it only filled her with more conflicts - matched feelings of affection and guilt, comfort and dread, summoned in duality by the intimacy. It was usually her most effective technique for falling asleep on difficult nights, but now it only intensified her torment.

     She fought the urge to toss and turn on the bed, if only for Marina's sake - her girlfriend was a light sleeper, and Pearl could tell she was still only _barely_ asleep. As much she wanted to flop over and over to work out some of the frustration, Pearl couldn't deprive Marina of her sleep, especially on what could be the last night they spend together. Instead, she remained in place and tried to think.

     She had to know what she was feeling if she would have any chance of figuring out her emotions and falling asleep. The alternative, waiting it out, could easily cost her nearly the whole night. She couldn't afford to be sleep deprived the next day. While she and Marina would have the day off, it was Valentine's, and she didn't need to add to the problems that that would come with. Even if she tried, there wasn't much of a chance she could stop herself - her mind was running a mile a minute, and there was nothing else to think about.

     The thought of tomorrow brought to the forefront of her mind a feeling of dread, which she acknowledged uneasily. With it came shame, regret, and an out-of-place dash of hope; she wasn't sure it was appropriate, but acknowledged it nonetheless and continued mentally sorting herself out.

     Further back there was a faint embarrassment, mixed with affection and still lingering from how Marina had talked to her. It came together with a strong love, a deep-rooted appreciation for the way Marina made her feel. A warmth that spread through her when she thought about them together, the way Marina was always so intelligent and thoughtful. As she considered it, another feeling separated itself from the mass, overpowering and brutal: an immense grief that tore through her, mourning the loss of that love and affection. It would be only tomorrow, and it would be inevitable, she knew. The strength and immediacy of the pain manifested in an awful tightness in her stomach, a coil in her throat that threatened to escape as a noisy cry. Instead, she reflexively tightened around Marina, clinging desperately.

     The octoling's hold loosened as she was roused from near-slumber, and Pearl froze when she realized she had woken her up. "Pearl?" Marina's voice was low and sleepy, but audibly concerned. Pearl shrunk into her collarbone and couldn't stop herself from trembling, even as she tried to stiffen completely. Marina could tell. "Oh, Pearlie..."

     The octoling's hands found their way to the back of her girlfriend's head, green-tipped fingers stroking lightly over the smooth surface of Pearl's hair. She couldn't tell if the inkling in her arms was awake or asleep - if she was trembling and clinging due to a stress dream, or some terrible waking thought - but she didn't prioritize finding out, only trying to provide what comfort she could. She put one hand on Pearl's back and left the other in her hair, rubbing gently at both locations.

     Marina wished she knew what was going on, but it was clear from the way Pearl shook against her that it wasn't the time to ask. She would have to find out in the morning, though, as soon as she could - something was clearly wrong, and she couldn't bear to wait any longer than strictly necessarily while her Pearlie was suffering. She held the inkling closer and whispered quiet, simple reassurances to her, continuing until the trembling ceased and they were both long asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read this far, thank you!! For reading in general and for sticking around after I missed updating for so long. I don't really have a good excuse, it just got away from me. I'll try not to let it happen again.
> 
> If you've got any thoughts or opinions to share, please let me know in a review, I'm always eager to hear what people have to say! And if you want to leave Kudos (and haven't done so already) that's also, as always, very appreciated. Thanks a million! ❤


	8. This Is The Last Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Valentine's Day morning. Pearl has no more time to hide the truth, nor would Marina even let her now that she knows just how much it's been affecting her. But how will Pearl handle her confrontation with inevitability?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first things first - if you've been following this fic by just sorting by Date Updated in one of its tags, you probably missed the last chapter. Ao3 was being silly and didn't actually put my story at the top of that sort when I added the last one.
> 
> If that's taken care of... There's not much else to say but that I hope you enjoy this last chapter. Thanks!

On the morning of Valentine's Day, Pearl woke with an apology in her throat. Her mouth was open before even her eyes were, pushing out a tired croak that was supposed to sound like "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." A moment later, her eyes pried themselves open, and she was able to take in her surroundings through blurry vision.

     She was in bed, sprawled out over Marina's stomach. The blankets were hanging loosely over the edge of the bed, apparently kicked to the side during the night, and Marina's arms were draped loosely over Pearl's body to replace them. Her cheek was pressed against Marina's collarbone and one of her arms was firmly pinned under Marina's back in what had at one point been an unconscious embrace. The octoling was still fast asleep, evident by the slow, deep breaths that raised and lowered her chest under Pearl. As if sensing the inkling's distress, Marina sighed in her sleep and tightened the hold around her girlfriend.

     It felt...

     Wrong.

     She felt like she was somewhere she shouldn't be, doing something she shouldn't. As if Marina could wake up at any moment and be angry at the position they had found themselves in. Her mind jumped with the impulse to curl into herself and hide, to shake Marina's arms away and scramble off the bed. A dark-colored tentacle draped itself lazily over Pearl's head, and the inkling stiffened.

     Marina would understand if Pearl got up. She was always respectful of Pearl's boundaries, especially when it came to touch. Generally, they were both cuddlers - but on the occasion, there was the exception. When either of them, Pearl or Marina, was having a rough day; when contact that was normally calming would feel overwhelming. Whenever Marina had those days, Pearl kept clear, and Marina was always willing to do the same for her.

     Her girlfriend's willingness to accommodate for Pearl when she needed it was one of many things the inkling found herself always grateful for. But even with the knowledge that Marina would understand, the thought of waking her up to get away made Pearl's skin crawl. It felt unspeakable, leaving a pit of anxiety in her gut too heavy to even consider it. No, she would just have to stay in Marina's hold, even as the affectionate gesture suffocated her.

     . She couldn't get too erratic, or it could wake Marina. She took the risk of coiling into herself just a bit tighter, trying fruitlessly to shrink away from the sensation. It didn't alert Marina, but it also did little to help her. She stayed curled tight regardless.

     Instead, she closed her eyes and tried to stay calm. She couldn't get to erratic, or she'd risk waking Marina. As the discomfort continued to grow, though, she took the risk of coiling tighter, trying to shrink away from the sensation surrounding her. It did almost nothing to help - there was still an awful pressure building in her muscles, vibrating across her whole body in tense waves - but the motion didn't wake Marina, at least. The younger girl only sighed in her sleep and shifted in place.

     As more time passed, the discomfort grew, until in time Pearl could only barely suppress the terrified shaking that threatened to seize her. The strain of the effort and Marina's sustained contact annihilated any capacity for thought. She was drowning in stress, putting everything she had into staying still: she couldn't wake Marina, she couldn't, not for any cost.

     The sleeping octoling had long since loosened her grip again, but Pearl barely noticed - touching was still touching, and she was past a point of no return, struggling to keep her head above the water. Her breathing came in silent, inconsistent gasps, trembling but perfectly obscured, and her perception of the world had shrunk down to only herself and Marina, love of her life, gently squeezing her to death.

     She didn't know how long it had been, whether it was minutes or hours, before Marina stirred beneath her. The octoling yawned once, slowly, gradually waking her body as she stretched her arms and legs. A moment later she seemed to notice Pearl's stiffened form on top of her and paused. The inkling felt a wave of terror crash through her.

     There was no hiding anymore, Pearl knew. She was stiff as a board, hunched into herself in Marina's arms, inches away from breakdown. She couldn't possibly get out of what she had gotten herself into. Marina would, in a matter of minutes, know what Pearl had done, the failure she had been hiding for days. And she knew how the knowledge would have to be delivered - explained by Pearl herself, between sobs she could already feel approaching. She hated to cry, and the last thing she wanted was to look pitiful with how she had so thoughtlessly betrayed her girlfriend.

     Marina, only barely awake, jolted with alarm as she realized Pearl's condition. She loosened her hold, but hesitated to let go, disoriented from having just woken up to this behavior. "Um... Pearl? Is everything alright?"

     Pearl's throat was dry and she could barely find the air to speak. "I- I'm--," she started, voice weak. _I'm fine,_ she thought. _I'm fine, I'm fine, don't worry._ "I'm- I'm _sorry_ _ _-__ _-"_

     Marina's eyes flew open in surprise as Pearl buckled in her arms, falling limp over her. Her small body became wracked with sobs, sudden and harsh, and she only kept repeating herself - "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry...". It took Marina a second to even find her words for a response.

     "Pearlie, it's okay!" The words were ineffectual. Pearl didn't react, still motionless except for her trembling, repeating her apologies. "It's okay, Pearl, you're going to be alright!" She hesitated only a moment before putting her hands over Pearl's back to try and reassure her. There was little response.

     "I'm sorry," the smaller girl continued, the words interwoven with sobs. "I'm- I messed it up, I ruined everything, I'm so- I'm so sorr--" Pearl cut herself off with a gasp for air, raw and sharp, followed with a string of hiccups. Part of her wanted to cling to Marina, to hold her and be held by her until it was all over, while the other half of her arched away from the hands on her back as if they were burning. Paralyzed with mixed signals, she remained limp as she caught her breath, letting out brief choking cries every few seconds. Marina held her close.

     "Shh... Pearlie, baby, you're okay..." Marina didn't really understand what was going on. She only knew, deep in the center of her hearts, nothing Pearl could have done could be deserving of the anguish Marina could see her in. Her girlfriend had started in hysterics and calmed to the state she was in now, not quite alright but at least not sobbing, and while she didn't know whether she had helped she had to keep trying. If she had any shot at helping her girlfriend through whatever had taken hold of her, she would take it. "You're going to be alright, I promise, it's okay..."

     In the end, it was Pearl's clingier side that won out. The anxiety of contact faded the longer she lay in place until eventually she found herself clutching Marina close, even curling her legs around her partner's body. She pulled herself as tight against her as she could, still hiccuping and sniffling. Marina reciprocated, putting her arms all the way around Pearl's back in a hug squeezing gently but firmly.

     "I'm... I'm sorry, Marina..." Pearl's voice was cracked and breathy. The sound of it hurt Marina's hearts as much as the apologies themselves had.

     "Pearlie..." Marina didn't carry the same angst as Pearl in her voice, didn't have the raw tone of a girl shattered by stress, but her voice was stricken all the same with worry. She hadn't asked before, when Pearl had barely seemed able to hear her, but now she had to know. "What are you sorry for?"

     It was a gamble, as much as Marina didn't want to think of it as such. She could only hope Pearl would be able to answer coherently, instead falling back into the fit of anguish Marina had found her in when she woke up - but she had to know. Fortunately, when Pearl answered, she did so without too much trouble - there was a tremor in her voice, but she held herself together. "I'm sorry for messing things up..." Pearl buried her face against Marina's neck, and the octoling felt her girlfriend's hot tears falling from her eyes. "I'm- I'm sorry for--" she started, her words catching. Marina waited to see if she would finish. "For being a bad girlfriend--"

     Pearl's voice was breaking again as she finished her sentence. Marina held her tighter in reassurance. The arms and legs wrapped around her clung tighter as she responded. "Pearl, no. You're not a bad girlfriend, you've never been bad to me." Marina's own breathing was getting shaky and the beginnings of a lump were forming in her throat. She blinked a thin fog out of her eyes, not far from tears herself and Pearl resumed speaking.

     "I ruined everything," she answered, halfway between a moan and a broken-hearted wail. "I was- I had to make a song, for Valentine's day--" Her tone broke again and she took a moment to take an unsteady breath. "I had to make you a song about us, and I- I messed it up. I messed it all up and I'm so awful." As if to punctuate, she hiccuped again before letting out a strangled breath.

     Marina struggled to figure out what her girlfriend was saying. She was having a difficult time understanding through the distraction of her own emotions, which she tried to push aside to think. "What do you mean...?"

     "I didn't finish it," Pearl mumbled, almost silently. "I didn't even start." She paused for a moment, leaning back and craning her neck to see Marina's expression. Surprise, a trace of confusion. "I wasn't enough, I know I'm still not good enough, I'm- I'm sorry," she finished, ducking suddenly to hide her face against the taller girl's shoulder again. Marina snapped back to attention.

     "Babe, Pearl, no..." Her hearts ached as she pieced together the full situation. "Pearl, that's not true. You're enough." The inkling squeezed harder, almost enough to be painful.

    "No! I didn't do anything, Marina." With a heaving gasp, she continued. "I couldn't make anything. I'm not good enough, I can't love you enough, I can't even- I can't even make a _song._ I'm horrible, I'm the worst girlfriend ever." Her next breath came harsh, tearing from her throat with a rough cry only barely clipped short.

     "Don't say that, Pearl. Please, please don't say that." Marina's eyes were filling with tears as she pulled Pearl as close to her as she could. "It's not true. None of it is true. I love you, you're my favorite person in the world - a Valentine's gift won't change that." She was crying openly now, too, tears trailing along the side of her face, and she could feel Pearl doing the same as she held on just as tight. "Every Valentine's gift in the world couldn't change that. I love you for _you,_ Pearl, not for gifts."

     When Pearl's ragged breathing slowed down, she spoke again, voice quiet and raw. "For real?" She waited for a response, not even breathing.

     "Yes," whispered Marina. "Forever." Pearl's breath came out in a staggered rush.

     "Thank you, 'Reena..."

     "You don't need to thank me, Pearlie. I know you'd do the same thing for me." Her tone was as tender as it had ever been as she ran a hand along the back of Pearl's head. "You don't need grand gestures. You're always there for me when I need it, and that's the part that matters."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this far! I really appreciate everyone who followed this story to the end. You're all super cool and I thank you for your reviews, your kudos, or even just your readership if you didn't leave either of those. ❤️
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear what you thought in a review. If you haven't left Kudos yet and want to do so now, that's also super appreciated. Hope you enjoyed!


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